Shia LeBeouf has spent the last few years proving to everyone what an abominable twat he is, so when I read about him doing stupid shit I really never feel all that surprised. I mean, dude got arrested at fucking Walgreen’s which, up until June 26th, was the only place he’d ever been arrested.
I guess Shia thought getting arrested at Walgreen’s was really white trash and that next time he should get arrested some place classy. However, most classy places don’t let the likes of Shia in, but lucky for him, anyone can buy a ticket to a Broadway show, so, with that, Shia bought himself a ticket to “Cabaret”, showed up, acted a fool, and got himself arrested at fucking Broadway. I kid you not.
Shia was allegedly super drunk when he went to “Cabaret” Thursday night, not that that is a crime, one time I agreed to go see my friend in a play and I drank red wine out of a coffee cup the whole time. I’ll agree to go see a play, but I won’t agree to be sober for it. Whatever. YOLO.
Anyway, at some point Shia decided that white Michelle Williams and Alan Cumming would be a whole lot more entertaining to watch after smoking some good shit, which I find hard to believe as I find them both to be very enjoyable actors.
However, instead of going outside to smoke a joint like a normal person, Shia decided he would light up right there in the theatre which really seems like something that entitled brat Justin Bieber would do.
Shia then decided that he wasn’t causing enough of a scene so he decided to stand up and start yelling at the actors during the play. He reportedly yelled:
F*** you. This is f***ing bullshit. Do you know my life? Do you know who the f*** I am? Do you know who I am?
To which Michelle Williams responded:
“No. I don’t really know who you are. Aren’t you the kid who starred in ‘Even Stevens’ like a decade ago? Talk to my Oscar nominations, motherfucker.”
Ok, so Michelle didn’t really say that, but wouldn’t it have been awesome if she did?!
Anyway, the cops showed up and arrested Shia’s ass and Twitter went crazy making fun of him.
Even though I feel bad for the actors and crew who put so much work into putting a show like that off, this is the best thing I’ve reported on in a while and I’d have killed to be in that audience because I fucking love celebrity train wrecks.
Maybe Shia should reach out to his BFF, Jaden Smith, to get some advice on how to be weird and annoying without getting arrested. I mean, the stupidest thing that kid’s done lately is wear a white Batman suit to Kimye’s wedding, so I guess he’s kind of got his shit together.
Either way, Shia LaBeouf should 100% get a tattoo across his head that reads YOLO because that guy is really living every minute like it’s his last.