At this time of year, you deserve a story to warm the cockles of you heart, and by that we mean 'run to the sink scratching at your eyes and tongue to try and get the images out of your mind' – Sharon Stone and Christian Slater are totally doing it.
Maybe we're being too hard on Sharon Stone and Christian Slater – after all, what is Christmas if not a time to get it on with a filmstar who hasn't really been properly famous for a decade? However, don't rush out and bet on a Sharon Stone/ Christian Slater wedding any time soon – both sets of publicists seem determined to put out as many "Come on, you know he/she can do better that THAT" statements as they can. Which is kind of a shame, because we were under the impression that when the guy from Churchill: The Hollywood Years gets together with her out of Sliver, the resulting offspring would grow up to lead mankind into the stage of evolution. We think we read that in The Bible.
There are a million mismatched couples in the world. After all, who'd have ever thought that Tom Cruise would marry a woman almost half his age and treat her to a lifetime of silent baby-production? And don't get us started on the loud one from the Spice Girls hooking up with Eddie Murphy. But by far our new favourite mismatched celebrity couple has to be Sharon Stone and Christian Slater.
According to reports, Sharon Stone and Christian Slater met on the set of their new Lindsay Lohan assassination movie Bobby, and have been seen out and about together ever since – including a Dolce and Gabbana party at the Chateau Marmont Hotel in Los Angeles where they arrived arm-in-arm. Up until now, however, both Sharon Stone and Christian Slater have refused to admit that anything more than friendship was going on – until now. It's been suggested that Sharon Stone has invited Christian Slater to her house for a special romantic Christmas. But Femalefirst quotes a source as being sceptical that much will come of the new relationship:
"They're both really happy – but they don't have long-term expectations. It's a fun fling for the holidays and Sharon is a good influence. She rarely drinks and has three kids. It's a good match for now."
Ah, how could we forget what a bastion of virtue Sharon Stone is. After all, it was Sharon Stone who wrote the Hurricane Katrina song that literally saved the world, and Sharon Stone is close enough to designated world-saver Bono that she actually endangered his life once. She's a wonder, is Sharon Stone – only saying nice things about how Stan Collymore sucked her fingers and only really being mean to the occasional plastic surgeon who crosses her.
And she's only human, too. Who knows the exact moment that Sharon Stone fell for Christian Slater? Could it have been when she saw his star turn in that toilet gel advert? Or maybe when he fell off Paris Hilton's neighbour's roof when he was drunk? Chances are that – like us – Sharon Stone knew Christian Slater was the one when he got arrested for groping a woman's buttocks on the corner of the street. That Christian Slater, eh? What a bleeding catch.
But every celebrity couple doesn't become a true celebrity couple until they've been given a twee compound name. There's been Bennifer, Brangelina, Tomkat… and now let us introduce you to the name Sharon Stone and Christian Slater must only be referred to from henceforth – Shristian Sloneter!
You're welcome.
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Pri says
Yeah, I’d say “Yeeurch” pretty much summed it up