Shania Twain and Mutt Lange had one of the happiest marriages in Hollywood. Except that they live about 6,000 miles away from Hollywood.
Oh, and it doesn’t seem like they could have been all that happy either. Actually, just discount that entire opening sentence, it’s pretty much all bollocks.
Anyway, the reason why Shania Twain’s marriage was so unhappy was because her husband Mutt Lange was apparently schtupping another woman. Another woman who worked for Shania and Mutt. Another woman who Shania Twain considered to be her best friend. Seriously, if one of these people isn’t given their own reality TV show soon we’ll be buggered.
It’s been a while since we featured a story about a sad-faced recluse who lives in Switzerland and nobody cares about, hasn’t it? And by ‘a while’ we obviously mean two and a half hours.
But Switzerland means different things to different people – to Phil Collins it’s a place where he can spend the rest of his life claiming that it’s for the superior air quality when everyone really knows it’s because he resents paying tax, and to Shania Twain it’s that stupid mountainy place where her husband and her best friend kept dicking each other behind her back.
Shania Twain and Mutt Lange were thought to have had one of the most secure marriages around, in that everyone just assumed that it was secure and didn’t really care about Shania Twain and Mutt Lange enough to actually go and check.
And that’s why it was such a shock when Shania Twain and Mutt Lange split up last week. The entertainment industry was devastated by the news, mainly because it meant talking about Shania Twain again, and -sheesh – is she ever dull. But what’s more shocking is that Shania Twain and Mutt Lange apparently split up because he was boning Shania Twain’s best friend, a woman called Marie-Anne Thiebaud. According to the New York Daily News:
Several sources [say] that Marie-Anne Thiebaud, 37, a secretary and house manager at the estranged couple’s Swiss estate, is allegedly behind the breakup of the 14-year marriage, from which the couple have a 6-year-old son, Eja D’Angelo. “Mutt and Marie-Anne left their spouses for each other and are still in a relationship,” says one source. “Their two families would vacation and spend holidays together. Shania considered Marie-Anne one of her best friends.” Twain “is devastated,” an insider tells People. “This came out of left field.”
Of course, both Thiebaud and Lange deny this alleged affair, but if it’s true then it’ll be fairly easy to prove – all it’ll take is for one intrepid reporter to stay in Switzerland for a couple of months trailing them and… oh, who are we kidding, nobody’s going to do that. That sounds like hell on Earth. Good job that nobody really cares all that much about the state of Shania Twain’s marriage then, really.
Anyway, it seems clear that the point of this whole split palaver is that you should never marry anyone named Mutt. Or live in Switzerland. Or be Shania Twain. Mainly that last one, actually. Don’t be Shania Twain.
Read more:
Shania Twain caught in love triangle with best friend, husband – NYDN
Peter Belisi says
She was always way too hot for him.
toolahroolahroolah says
Um…yeah…right…maybe you should call her if you care for her that deeply…or at least call your therapist.
Sam says
You really devoted a lot of space to an article of people you say you don’t care about…….LOSER!