Gordon Brown is in a pickle. Since he became Prime Minister he’s been hit with a credit crunch, floods, disease outbreaks and diplomatically awkward Olympic tensions.

Clearly the man needs help to get his popularity shifting upwards again. And, having looked at the problem thoroughly, Gordon Brown found the only person on the face of the Earth who even came close to matching his requirements. Shakira.

No, really. Shakira. Shakira and Gordon Brown have been yammering away on the phone trying to thrash out a solution to third world education. We know, this news makes us want to rush out and vote for Gordon Brown immediately too, but let’s be smart here – if we play it cool enough, Brown won’t stop at Shakira. Finally, our dreams of seeing Eva Longoria as a Secretary Of State For Work And Pensions have got one step closer to reality!