Sex sex sex sex sex – TV is full of nothing but constant images of sweaty, grunting people having sex all the time. According to a report by the Kaiser Family Foundation, that is.

All this talk of sex and TV has led us to two conclusions: a) the world is unrepairable and going straight to Hell, and b) there has never been a better time in the history of mankind to be a teenage boy.

The Kaiser Family Foundation is a non-profit, private foundation
focusing on the America’s major health care issues. And it has just
released a report into the amount of sex seen on TV. It’s conclusion?
Good news – TV sex has almost doubled in the last seven years!

The Kaiser report shows that 70% of TV shows include some sexual
content, with an average of five sex scenes per hour. Don’t get too
excited, though – that number comprises physical flirting, passionate
kissing, intimate touching and talk of sex. Only 3% actually showed
sexual intercourse, and you very rarely get to actually see it going in.

What a great job these Kaiser people have, though – getting paid to watch TV sex. Sure beats sneaking downstairs at 2am to watch a foreign film on Channel Four while your parents are asleep in the vain hope that you might catch a glimpse of a nipple, anyway. We really should stop doing that.

Fantastically, the Kaiser report even goes as far to describe some examples of sex scenes shown on TV, including reports that in one episode of the ABC show Hope And Faith:

Suggestively leaning over the reception desk, Faith’s black bra is exposed. Speaking in a breathy tone, Faith says "Your divorce must have been so painful."

And during an episode of Life As We Know It, also on ABC:

The camera pans to their intertwined legs, Ms Young’s black heels rubbing up and down against Ben. As Ben strokes her thigh, Ms Young moans quietly "Oh yeah, that feels so good."

And, our favourite, as part of an episode of Strong Medicine on Lifetime:

Nick sees Dana in the tub, her body glistening in the candlelight, she says "Come join me, won’t you?" Nick exclaims "You are naughty!"… Then Dana reaches down under the water, causing Nick to exclaim "Oooh."

Kaiser Family Foundation Vice President Vicky Rideout said of the report:

“Given how high the stakes are, the messages TV sends teens about sex
are important. Television has the power to bring
issues of sexual risk and responsibility to life in a way that no sex
ed class or public health brochure really can.”

Shortly afterwards, Rideout was seen rubbing her thighs, licking her lips and telling a confused Mexican cleaner what a bad girl she had been.

Read more:

Number of sexual scenes on TV nearly double since 1998 – Kaiser Press Release

[story by Stuart Heritage]