Elmo did what?!
Not to make light of the whole sex offender thing (though really, why else are we here), but this recent Elmo puppeteer sex scandal has been worthwhile for the Twitter reactions alone. But more on those later.
This week, an anonymous man claimed he had an underage affair with Kevin Clash, the guy who voices the popular Sesame Street character, Elmo. The anonymous accuser claimed that he was 16 and Clash was 45 when this relationship took place. It was very disconcerting.
In a statement on Tuesday, the law firm Andreozzi & Associates came forward saying they represented the anonymous accuser (who I will herein refer to as “Melvin,” because typing “anonymous accuser” every paragraph is sure to be a pain in the ass). The statement said:
“[Melvin] wants it to be known that his sexual relationship with Mr. Clash was an adult consensual relationship….He will have no further comment on the matter.”
For his part, Clash didn’t deny the affair with Melvin, but he did deny that a sexual relationship took place when Melvin was underage. Apparently, they boned legally.
According to TMZ, back in 2010, Clash got into a bit of trouble with the mayors of Sesame Street. He sent a personal email from his work account that involved a sexual discussion with said accuser.
“I’m sorry that I keep talking about you,” Clash wrote in the email. “It’s driving me insane. I want you to know that I love you and I will never hurt you. I’m here to protect you and make sure your dreams come true. I’ll have my assistant book a ticket for you to come to NY and we can talk about this in person.”
And if there is a God, someone will recite this in the voice of Elmo and upload it to YouTube by the end of the week.
“Clash has since taken a leave of absence from Sesame Street and says he will focus on fighting the allegations,” TMZ reported.
At any rate, a day after the story came out, Melvin recanted his claim. Apparently, he was an adult when he had sex with Elmo. The lawyers released a statement on Tuesday, writing:
“[The accuser] wants it to be known that his sexual relationship with Mr. Clash was an adult consensual relationship. [The accuser] will have no further comment.”
So, basically, two dudes had legal sex, and one of them happened to be a famous puppeteer. Nothing to see here, people.
Or is there? TMZ says a source told them that the recanting might have had something to do with a six-figure settlement. So I suppose that means there’s a possibility that Melvin was underage. Either way, Clash released a statement on Tuesday, saying:
“I am relieved that this painful allegation has been put to rest. I will not discuss it further.”
Elmo want to wash Elmo’s eyes.
Oh, and here are a few of those priceless Twitter reactions we promised you:
@GaryJanetti: “I feel so stupid. I didn’t even know Elmo had a dick.”
@JennyJohnsonHi5: “If you had asked me yesterday to pick the pervert on Sesame Street, my money would’ve been on the dude in the trash can.”
@chrissyteigen : i just picture elmo saying ‘i’m finally twending! but fwo all the wrong weasons :(‘
@Joan_Rivers: The hottest toy this holiday season is going to be the “Let Me See Some I.D. Before I Tickle You Elmo.”