It must be International Fibbing Week or something, because it seems like untruths are spilling from celebrities, like soup from bearded tramp’s inebriated spluttering mouth. Yesterday Posh Spice said something about not being remotely thin. And today, it turns out that Angelina Jolie has been insisting to OK! Magazine – ?the UK’s least discerning showbusiness pamphlet – that she’s completely normal. Not totally weird at all.
Only, she is totally weird. We know that.
Discussing her new role as mother to children with intriguing names – Maddox, Pax, Shiloh, Zahara, Knox, Vivienne – she breezily pointed out that she’s “just a dedicated mother, really quite normal.” Whilst obviously stretching the boundaries of what “normal” might be with a single sentence.
Some people would argue that dedicated, normal mothers probably didn’t marry their first husband – let’s call him Johnny Lee Miller – wearing a pair of tight rubber trousers, and a white shirt with his name scrawled on it in blood. Her blood. To hammer home the point – Jolie, normal, spent a good few minutes before her first wedding day cutting herself, then romantically spattering the groom’s name all over a crisp white blouse. Possibly cackling loudly as she went. Most girls would probably settle for a nice white dress, with a zany veil attached. Or, if they’re feeling unusual and wacky, something wild – like a cream dress.
Also rather less than normal was the time the actress married Billy Bob Thornton – her second three-named groom – and thought it best that they both carried a vial of one another’s blood around their necks. The woman, it seems, equates blood with romance. Again, this could be considered rather less than usual behaviour.?
Yes, quite a few mums do have tatts these days. Normally something classy, like a butterfly at the small of their back – which, it has been pointed out, might as well be a bull’s eye – or a small dolphin happily swimming around on their stomach. But Jolie has taken tatts on mothers to another level, with bits of Buddhist Sanskrit, latin proverbs, roman numerals, entire history lectures, sculptures, numerous paintings, and a small donations box. The woman is like a big fleshy museum, who could probably home school her children with just the contents of the artwork on her back.
And, rounding off the list of things that make Angelina Jolie considerably less normal than the rest of the world is that she’s a regular bed partner to Brad Pitt. Him a lusted after screen hunk, her seemingly popular in a sexual sense with both men and women. So please, Jolie, don’t say you’re “normal”. If you’re normal, the rest of us are screwed.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter
Grace says
She has just said she doesn’t understand the fascination people have with her family, but they put photos out of themselves, that Brad Pitt took himself, and sold to a newspaper tabloid. These pictures were so intimate that not even the papparazzi could give us the coverage that Brad gave us. He and Angie started this whole “publicity machine”, and then wonder why we want to know more.
I don’t want to dislike them, but Angelina is saying I’m completely normal because it goes right along with the new image of herself that she has put out there. Now that I’m with Brad Pitt, and a mother….that means I’m normal. I’m just like everybody else. I don’t have any problems. I am normal, and you are not is what she is really saying. It’s mind control with that girl.
casimir says
No surprise, you forgot what else does not make her ‘normal’: her hands-on humanitarian involvment and her large and frequent charitable donations to organizations and projects.
brando says
Man, you must be gay and boring. LOL
samantha says
Jolie sure is very good at putting on the dedicated mother and family person act…all a facade. She does not seem normal at all. She wants to delete her actual personality of a high-strung, sex-crazy, promiscuous, very abnormal, and not to forget a homebreaker from people’s minds. This facade will not last very long. She will not be able to keep up with maintaining a false image. She has captivated brad pitt with her bedroom skills ( obviously experience with multiple partners counts) and once Brad finds sex with another woman exciting, he will leave her. Angie sure uses sex to break homes. Unfortunately, she is setting a very bad example for the young girls.
ForFuxxSake says
Clearly, Josh Burt has solidified what it means to be “normal”.
Apparently, “Normal” means fulfilling and submitting to the status quo and living my your own standards and convictions, as Ms. Jolie does, is not normal. If that is the case, it’s a sad world you live in Mr. Burt.
You may be disconnected from the youth culture, but it is quite “normal” for young girls in their teens and early twenties to make some questionable choices due to emotional baggage they may have. Do we want to discuss the ratio between white dresses and divorces? Do you have the courage to air out some of the emotional baggage that you have had to deal with your life, Mr. Josh Burt? Obviously you have some, because if you didn’t you wouldn’t spend time writing such a hateful article. Ms. Jolie has had the courage to fully feel her feelings throughout life and own up to the choices she made. If not she wouldn’t freely talking about it. You should be ashamed to not only be unsympathetic but to use it to fuel your lack of creativity.
Grace, the photos that Brad Pitt took that you write about is not a “newspaper tabloid”. It is a magazine that focus on fashion, art and culture. If you can’t identify things properly and find it difficult to call things by their proper name, then it makes it very easy to not validate any of your thoughts or your opinions. I suggest not spending time doing such a disservice to yourself.
Ms. Jolie may not be “normal”. I’m sure if you did your part to investigate the work she has done(off-screen or on-screen doesn’t make a difference) and talked/communicate with the people that have been effected by her work and benefited from her efforts, they would agree with you that she isn’t normal and that she is one of kind.
But that might take to much effort and it’s just so much easier to bash “celebrities”….
andrea says
I’m not so convinced that she is “fibbing”. Thats her take on how she, and possibly Brad feel about their home life. Who are we to think otherwise? Maybe when in the privacy of their own home they DO feel normal, with a normal family. Whats the big deal with that? Me thinks this writer has some grudges against Ms. Jolie. To bring up her already well documented past is… er, childish. Who doesn’t have a wild and crazy past? Most people i know have done worse, yet have grown up since. Its called progression, maturing. Just a lame attempt to take a dig at her. Listen, she didn’t commit any crimes, hurt anybody (no, Jen does not count) or go to rehab for a serious drug problem. People are making a big deal out of nothing. She was young and stupid at times…whoop-de-doo! No worries though, she’s still got beauty, talent, numerous titles and awards and oh yeah, Brad! Don’t think she cares what we think. Team Jolie!
Josh Burt says
Thanks for the comments, people. ForFuxxSake, does it really feel like a “hateful” article? I wouldn’t have said that at all. The point of the article was to say that Angelina Jolie is not a “normal” person – that can be both a good and a bad thing. I wasn’t JUDGING her actions, merely recounting some of them to make a point. It wasn’t, as some of you seem to think, an attack… quite the opposite in many ways…
Jax Angel 714 says
Now to me, what she had did in her past is “normal” behavior for someone that grew up with her father abandoning her mother and the family and teens frequently cut themselves due to various insecurities! As for her using sex to wreck a home, what home are you talking about? The one he allegedly shared with that screwed-up emotional trainwreck because they were separated 6 months before their divorce-Maniston’s own words! Angie did have a dark past, but who the hell hasn’t? And who is anyone to justify what is and is not normal? If Angie is considered “not normal,” I fear for the rest of society!
Marry says
Me thinks for fxxxsake is working for Ms. Julie. I have been reading these articles for a month, most of the people defend Angie seems more than a regular fan to me.
How do you know about her emotional problems when she was young?
I think the most important thing here is she is promoting herself as if she is someone else. Making mistakes when you were young is something, having an unusual life since you start living with some one else is something else.
She might have changed but she puts black nailpolish on her boys, die their hair, dress them weird, put temporary tattos on them. Looks like she is proud of what she did in the past.
KATIE says
I UH THINK SHE MAKES IT UP AS SHE GOES ALONG. I ALSO THINK SHE TOOK ONE LOOK AT BRAD AND JEN AND DECIDED THAT SHE WANTED BRAD what appeared to be normal. not knowing that it takes a lot to make a relationship work or that Brad really is into other guys which works for her. They seem to be happy or at least putting on one heck of an act. noticed that she looked like a cow at cannes next to the french girls and really believe that is a lack of class. Let’s face it, she did some good acting work in her early days and then became breeding pig.
magnetite says
If the women you’ve dated in their/your teens and early twenties have emotional baggage larger than a purse (or at worst, a valise), ForfuxxSake, then you may have a somewhat slewed view of what emotional baggage and/or womankind actually is.
I hope for your sake that you have the emotional wherewithal to get a metaphorical storage locker/shipping container or two by the time you’re dating someone normal of Jolie’s age.
(but if you merely think she’s fit, then say so, for fuck’s sake ForFuxxSake. The crazy ones usually are. The women anyway.)
N says
OK Magazine? Really? Why is there so much BS flying about where it concerns this woman? Sad…
david says
Katie, if Angelina is a cow, then we’re all screwed. Screwed more than if she were normal. She needs to GAIN weight. not lose it. And breeding pig? she’s only been pregnant twice. You do realize the asian kids and the black kids are not biologically hers? I really hope you do.
Luise says
hahaha the funny thing is she doesn’t even know you exist.
Jax Angel 714 says
Black nail polish, weird hair colors, and fake tattoos? Oh god what are we to do now? Ha, I do that stuff with my son too! Guess that makes me a “bad” mom with a “dark past” too! LOL!