Search Results for: michael jackson

Kanye West Thinks He Is A Better Michael Jackson Than Michael Jackson

September 24th, 2013 By Megan Leitch

So it really isn’t new news that Kanye West is one of the most, if not the most, egotistical douchebags around currently. ?It also isn’t shocking that he continues to live in this warped world where he is the greatest, most innovative artist alive. ?However, he manages to still spew some insane shit about himself that makes the rest of the world tilt their head to the side and go “Is he serious right now?”

West has now he has taken his ridiculously way too high opinion of himself to a new level by saying that he believes he has broken more creative barriers than Michael Jackson. ? Cue LaToya heading up a mob to castrate Kanye in 3…2…1…

Even Dead, Liz Taylor and Michael Jackson Earn Way More Money Than You

March 23rd, 2013 By Chris Chambers

They were besties?while alive, but Elizabeth Taylor and Michael Jackson are duking it out in death. This year, Lovely Liz officially overthrew two-time list-topper Michael Jackson on Forbes’ Magazine’s annual round-up of the top-earning dead celebrities, with Liz’s $210 million kicking the ass of Jacko’s meager $145 million.

You might wonder: is it tacky to compile such a list? The answer is yes, of course it is. But that’s what Forbes does, make lists of largely unimportant,?money-related, non-issues. The endless list-making leads one to suspect that Mr/Mrs?Forbes is at least mildly obsessive compulsive … but?the lists are eerily fascinating.

Michael Jackson Death Mansion Goes Up For Sale!

March 23rd, 2012 By Matthew Laidlow

Michael Jackson news has been slightly thin on the ground of late hasn't it? As far as we know, the Jackson estate has no plans to pump out another batch of supposed special edition albums that are limited to only a thousand million copies.

And because you know hecklerspray will never go out of our way to make inappropriate jokes about Michael?s life for comedy purposes, we promise to restrict this article to only two kiddy touching jokes… and we never lie.

As we all know, the world lost one of the last great remaining singers in June 2009 when his heart did a boogie and went into a fatal cardiac arrest. Since the death of Michael, fans have gone bonkers to get any sort of memorabilia. After all, all his dates at the O2 in London suddenly got pulled seeing as his deceased state stopped him from performing. Now, almost three years on from his passing, the ultimate fan item has become available.

Adele Is Officially Better Than Michael Jackson

February 29th, 2012 By Matthew Laidlow

Some people can't bear to move on and will stubbornly live in the past forever.?One group of people who can't escape the past are those loveable creatures that we call Michael Jackson fans.

How we chortle at their antics as they listen to their battered tape copies of his albums and trip over when they attempt to emulate his legendary moon walk. Heed our warning mind; anger these beasts and they?ll lash out violently.

Since the king of pop’s sudden death, nobody has officially taken his title. Lady Gaga has all sorts of gimmicks like Jackson had, such as that infamous meat dress. And to her advantage, they're all planned, unlike that Pepsi commercial. You can do all sorts in terms of marketing a product, but overall, that counts for nothing if you’re yesterday’s news as it is revealed that Adele is now officially better than Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson?s Glee Episode Is Imminent (Don’t Let Him In A School!)

January 27th, 2012 By Matthew Laidlow

Americans have loads of stuff that's essentially just for them, but occasionally seeps into the cultural mindset of others. Even though its just rounders for men, they call it the ?world series? even though only American teams compete.

Then there's the general extra injection of happiness and excitement that all Americans possess. Even going to the toilet to expel waste results in over enthusiastic whoops, screams and cheers, almost like they've passed a sparkly stool.

TV is, sometimes, America’s best export. But then again, this is the same nation that still churns out The Simpsons despite all its charm vanishing years ago. One giant success is Glee, even though it is essentially a TV version of High School Musical, but even more sweet and sickly. And the series is about to broadcast a tribute Michael Jackson episode. What could possibly go wrong?

Michael Jackson?s Old Tat Sells For More Than It's Worth

December 19th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

If anybody tells you that car boot sales and charity shops are pointless, they clearly don't know what they're talking about. Nothing beats the wonders of rummaging through boxes on a cold early morning with a ropey ?1 polystyrene cup of tea whilst searching for hidden gems.

The high street charity shop is a haven for those sourcing everything from old records to a piece of clothing that would sell for bucket loads in a vintage boutique. Granted, someone might have died in the blazer you're donning for a night out, but a few washes and squirt of Lynx Africa will cover that death musk.

Whilst second hand goods of the common man and woman change hands for a handful of pounds, the rules change when famous people are involved. One particular auction has been on the cards for ages with Michael Jackson extremists squealing in their droves as they get the chance to own items that they probably already have.

Michael Jackson?s Daughter Paris Starts Showbiz Young, Which Never Did Dad Any Harm

December 14th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

They say that everyone deserves a second chance to learn from their mistakes. Or if you happen to have an ounce of intelligence, not copying the moves of those that led to their downfall.

One of the greatest examples of cocking-up a childhood comes from no-other than the Jackson family. Whilst we were left marvelled and amazed at the family’s dance moves, they were secretly hurting inside thanks to regular whippings from father Joe. Missing out on childhood clearly affected Michael, so you'd assume that his three children would be ushered away from showbiz? Oh, how wrong you'd be.

Thankfully, Paris looks like she's decided to venture away from singing and head towards Hollywood. Yep! She’s going to be in a film! Good thing the movie industry hasn’t got a record of dark deeds and conspiracy, eh?

Why Not Take The Kids To See Michael Jackson’s Death House?

December 12th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

So, you and your stupid family are thinking about having a nice day out together. You don’t want to. You’d rather sit in and watch TV. However, some nagging guilt tells you there’s a world outside, so you make the gesture to others in a bid to make you look like you give a hoot about them.

So where do you go? A theme park? A wildlife sanctuary? A stroll around a vast meadow? A place of historical significance? Banger racing?

OF COURSE NOT YOU BLITHERING RAT BRAIN! There’s only one place worth going to these days, and that’s Michael Jackson’s death house! That’s right! Now that Jacko’s house has been opened to the public, you can stick your nose into the possessions of the recently deceased! Isn’t that wonderful?

Michael Jackson?s Unseen Documentary Footage Doesn't Interest Or Excite Anyone At London Auction

November 28th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

Does anyone ever get the feeling that you can have too much of a good thing? Imagine if someone forced you to live on nothing but steak for a year. You’d get sick of it after a while, no matter how much you love chewing bovine.

The same can’t be said about Michael Jackson fans. Their diet has been nothing but Neverlandian for decades and will remain so forever more.

Worse still, they’re rabid about him. They move in psychotic packs, froth at the mouth and howl in disgust at anyone who badmouths their now deceased idol. However, it seems that their interest is cooling because they’ve nothing to love now that Dr Conrad Murry has been found guilty. Maybe they liked the grief and strife more than MJ’s music?

Michael Jackson Was A Bit Of A Pranker

November 21st, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

Over the last few years, stories regarding Michael Jackson have all focused on one specific issue. That's right, his demise from this world and descent into a tacky gold coffin that's buried deep underground so nutjob fans can't rub their genitals across it.

More recent events have led to the climax of Jackson?s life where the whole world got to hear what drugs were given to him via ?Sexy? Dr. Conrad Murray. Ever since the incident on the set of a Pepsi commercial where the former king of pop’s head resembled a stinky sparkler, Michael supposedly downed pills like Smarties.

We?d like to distance ourselves from the recent courtroom drama featuring the only decent member of The Jackson Five. Instead, we want to relive some of the more memorable moments from his lifetime when he was alive, full of life and generally not being beaten by Poppa Joe.