We’d imagine that Sean Penn is hard to live with. Not because of his brooding intensity. Forget all that nonsense.
No, we’d imagine that Sean Penn is hard to live with because you’d be tripping over his weird Mr Punch chin all the time. It’d be a nightmare. Any time you managed to carry a tray with a jug of orange juice on it from the kitchen to the living room without tripping over Sean Penn’s chin would count as a massive victory.
And that’s why Sean Penn and his wife have filed for legal separation. Exactly that. We imagine.
Sean Penn isn’t a man who likes to repeat himself. For instance, after he married Madonna he didn’t then go onto marry another tiny old lady with a silly British accent and a vagina that’s visible from space. And his film roles are all completely different, too – one minute he’ll play an anguished, emotionally-tortured murderer; then he’ll play an anguished, emotionally-tortured ex-con. See? Completely different.
So it’s a little strange to see Sean Penn start to repeating himself almost exactly now. You may remember that in 2007 Sean Penn separated from his wife Robin Wright Penn in 2007, possibly because of Sienna Miller but probably because of Sean Penn’s weird Mr Punch chin, before they suddenly changed their minds a few months later and got back together again. Well guess what’s just happened.
That’s right, Sean Penn has had another go at filing for legal separation from Robin Wright Penn. The Times reports:
The Milk actor blamed ?irreconcilable differences? in papers filed in Marin County, near San Francisco last week. He is seeking joint custody of the couple?s two teenage children and asking the court to waive spousal support. With long film careers behind them, any divorce settlement would involve millions.
It was hard to tell, but there have been signs that all were not well between Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn. For instance, Sean Penn conspicuously forgot to mention his wife during his Oscars acceptance speech this year, and also THEY ALREADY FILED FOR DIVORCE ONCE BEFORE A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO. You need eagle eyes to pick up intermarital stresses like this, so don’t beat yourself up if you missed them. OK, beat yourself up a bit.
Anyway, we can’t help feeling that this divorce is the worst possible thing that Sean Penn could do. What if he finds that his mood is lightened by freedom of singledom? That’d be the end of his career, surely? It was bad enough watching him smile twice in Milk, so God knows what’ll happen if he actually decides to laugh on camera. It’s too horrifying to contemplate.
Also, Sean Penn would be screwing his wife over if he moved out of their marital home. Between the weight of his awards and the weight of his ego, he’s probably buggered the foundations right up. Plus nobody wants to live in a house with chin-grooves scored into it, do they?