Sean Penn Doesn’t Want To Divorce His Wife Any More

The Sean Penn/ Robin Wright Penn divorce was the one divorce that everyone was looking forward to, but now the bastards have spoilt it.

How? By flipping well falling back in love again, that’s how. Although they filed for divorce in December, Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn have now decided to call the divorce off so that they can sit around kissing and holding hands for the indefinite future.

We feel sick – this isn’t how Hollywood marriages are supposed to go at all. Where’s the infidelity, the bitterness, the petty public games of one-upmanship? Where, damn it, is the embarrassing sexual encounter with the seven-foot transsexual hooker? Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn, your happiness infuriates us.

We’ve got several different theories as to why being married to Sean Penn must be horrible. These include:

  • His chainsmoking.
  • His grouchiness.
  • His constant po-faced chest-beating about the war.
  • The way we expect that he spent months walking around the house practising his disabled voice all the time before filming I Am Sam.
  • The fact that Madonna divorced him and yet still hasn’t divorced Guy Ritchie. We couldn’t stay in a marriage knowing that our spouse wasn’t even as good as Guy Ritchie, that’s for sure.
  • The fact that he looks like a Mr Punch doll that’s been left in an acid bath for a month.

But try telling any of those reasons to Robin Wright Penn, because she loves Sean Penn so much that she can’t even bring herself to divorce him properly any more.

Back in December, Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn shocked the world by filing for divorce. They had been married for 11 years, which works out at about 400 Earth years, and were generally regarded as one of the strongest couples in all of Hollywood. Literally the strongest – not one person has ever challenged Robin Wright Penn to an arm-wrestle and come out of it without looking like they’d been in some kind of horrific industrial accident.

What caused the Sean Penn/ Robin Wright Penn divorce proceedings? Was it, as some suggested, because Sienna Miller wanted to hump Sean Penn? Was it for some other reason? Or a reason other than that? Or another one?

Well, actually it doesn’t matter, because Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn have decided to call the whole divorce thing off. Reuters reports:

Oscar winning actor Sean Penn and his wife actress Robin Wright Penn have withdrawn their divorce petition filed in December, a court document posted on celebrity Web site showed on Wednesday. The request to dismiss the divorce, filed one day earlier in Superior Court of California in Marin County north of San Francisco, shows the withdrawal was made “without prejudice.” A spokeswoman for Penn declined to comment, and no further details were available.

And that’s exactly the way it should be – no further details deserve to be available, because Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn’s love should speak for itself.

Also, any details that are made available are going to look doubly silly when Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn decide that they really are going to get divorced again in a couple of months. Let’s not forget that.

Read more:

Sean Penn, wife Robin end divorce proceeding – Reuters


  1. angie says

    Who HASN’T Sienna Miller wanted to hump?

    Robin is waaaaay too good for Penn…or at least I though so. Now I’m not so sure about her.