Scott Weiland Jailed, Stone Temple Pilots Reunion Sadly Still On

Sacked Velvet Revolver singer and My First Nazi Gollum dollset life model Scott Weiland is going to jail.

In what’ll cap off a particularly rubbish opening third of 2008 for him, Scott Weiland has been sentenced to eight days in jail for crashing his car drunk in Los Angeles last November - a charge that he can add to another DUI from 2003, some drug offences from the 1990s and a domestic violence charge from 2001.

Still, eight days in jail isn’t that bad - it’s lucky that the judge didn’t take Scott Weiland’s music into consideration when reaching the sentence, otherwise he’d have been given life. In solitary confinement. On a dung heap. Up a farty dragon’s bottom. On the moon.

These are uncertain times for Scott Weiland. His wife has burnt all his clothes, his Velvet Revolver bandmates have sacked him for being a weirdo and his entire future rests on a Stone Temple Pilots reunion - something that ranks slightly below ’smashing your kneecaps in with a rusty golf club’ on the List Of Things You’d Happily Spend Your Money On.

What Scott Weiland needs is a constant - some routine in his life that’ll straighten out his priorities for a while. And if Scott Weiland’s constant could be located in a giant building full of little tiny rooms, and angry men with suspect hygiene inside those little rooms, then that be even better.

Which is great, because Scott Weiland is going to jail. True, we didn’t ask that his constant smells like it was painted with a million gallons of stale elephant urine, but that’s just a lucky bonus.

After crashing his car dunk in November, Scott Weiland has been sentenced to eight whole days in jail, as People reports:

Former Velvet Revolver singer Scott Weiland was sentenced Monday to eight days in jail for a second DUI conviction following a Nov 11 arrest. Weiland, who was not present at the Van Nuys, Calif. court, was represented by an attorney who entered a no contest plea on the singer’s behalf. He was also ordered to complete an 18-month alcohol education class and pay nearly $2,000 in fines.

On reflection, that’s not so bad - Scott Weiland knows as well as anyone that if he actually spends longer than six or seven seconds in jail then it’ll be a particularly harsh celebrity sentence, plus the fine isn’t prohibitively large and the alcohol education class will only be a problem if Scott Weiland falls outside of the boundaries of normal human intelligence. He was in Stone Temple Pilots, though, so let’s not rule that possibility out entirely.

However, along with jail, the fine and the stint at booze-school, Scott Weiland was also sentenced to four years probation. That might prove to be more problematic, since Scott’s current record for staying out of trouble is about three and a half seconds.

But let’s worry about that when we need to, because a DUI jail sentence is just what Scott Weiland needed to re-establish his rawk credentials. Well done Scott, you’re now officially as rock and roll as Nicole Richie. Live the dream!

Read more:

Scott Weiland Sentenced to Eight Days in Jail - People