You’ve only just read the headline, and already you find yourselves plagued with the mental imagery of a donkey/human hybrid high-stepping around a gaudy stage in sparkly-platform shoes.

It’s a shocking image, it’s true. Lucky for us Mel B isn’t pregnant with the traditional oat-nibbling, Mexican-toting, puddle-drinking donkey type. No – she contains the seedling of one Eddie Murphy, a donkey-voiced man our sources tell us is really full of sperm. Mel B and Eddie Murphy are also said to be planning a knot-tying sometime next month, a ceremony which hecklerspray will have to decline when our invite arrives.

Seriously, we take Ginger’s side.