Scary Old Jimmy Saville To Return To TV

Twenty years after ignoring hecklerspray's repeated requests to become a Ghostbuster, Jimmy Saville has announced that he is to revive his tracksuit-bedecked masterwork Jim'll Fix It.

On the upcoming UKTV show Jim'll Fix It: Now And Then, the cigar-chomping old loon will continue unabated in his quest to make children's dreams come true. It's yet to be confirmed whether the remit of 'dreams' has extended since the show's 1980s heyday, when the choices were:

a) riding in a fire engine

b) meeting athletics superstar Daley Thompson

or c) getting daddy a new job after naughty Mrs Thatcher closed down the miney-wines.

Sir Jimmy Saville explained:

"This is something I've been thinking of doing for some time. Fix-Its have turned into a sort of legendary thing. People come up to me in the street or in a restaurant 10 times a day asking about the show."

Jimmy Saville also maintains that successful applicants will be presented with a fabled Jim'll Fix It badge - a 'prize' which might have washed with the primitive youth of yesteryear, but which may prove to be something of a disappointment to the present generation of iPod-twiddlin', PSP-playing, happy-slapping little freaks.

Will Jim'll Fix It: Now And Then be a success? God only knows. It seems fair to say that the whole format has a somewhat limited lifespan. Let's face it - in five years time it'll probably be possible to buy an Apple Dream Machine, a head-strapped device which plunges electrodes deep into the brain and instantly creates an artificial cyber-realm in which all the users fantasies come true.

And then we'll get to ride in Ecto 1. You hear that, Saville, you bastard? Then we'll win. 

Read More:

Screen Comeback for Jim'll Fix It - BBC

[story by C J Davies]