Scarlett Johansson has an album out soon and she’ll do anything to promote it – even get engaged to Van Wilder.

According to reports, Scarlett Johansson and boyfriend Ryan Reynolds have just got engaged. And, while it’s nice to see that Scarlett and Ryan have decided not to follow the current celebrity trend of secret never-confirmed weddings, it’d probably be bigger news if Ryan Reynolds was a bit more, you know, famous.

Oh, we’re just kidding. We’re sure that Ryan Reynolds is as warm and caring as you could possibly hope for. The real question is what a catch like Ryan sees in a rich, talented, successful tit factory like Scarlett Johansson. Wonders will never cease.

It’s no secret that all women are madly in love with Ryan Reynolds. Well, they are once they’ve been told who Ryan Reynolds is and they’ve been shown a picture of him and it’s been explained several times that he isn’t actually Rob Scheider. Anyway, after all that they fall madly in love with Ryan Reynolds.

And the trick to snaring him is ridiculously easy. All you need to do is wail along to the sound of a tatty acoustic guitar and he’ll be dry-humping your leg by the middle eight. Honestly – Ryan Reynolds used to be engaged to Alanis Morissette, and he was just Scarlett Johansson’s boyfriend until she decided to release a weird-sounding album and now they’re engaged. Coincidence?

Well, yes. Probably. Anyway, Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson are engaged and there’s nothing to do about it, other than angrily stalk Reynolds for stealing the woman who you imagine communicates exclusively with you in a secret code based on subtle cleavage adjustments. People reports:

After dating for more than a year, Scarlett Johansson is set to marry her boyfriend Ryan Reynolds, PEOPLE has learned exclusively.  “They’re both thrilled,” Johansson’s rep Marcel Pariseau tells PEOPLE. Reynolds, 31, currently filming the aptly named The Proposal in Boston with Sandra Bullock, recently popped the question to Johansson, 23. The couple have not set a wedding date.

Wow, Ryan Reynolds is really on the up and up. First he gets to star in a film with Sandra Bullock and now he’s engaged to a woman who almost certainly doesn’t have hepatitis? Throw in plans for a Van Wilder 3 and we’ll have to take the rest of the day off from chronic over-excitement.

And this engagement isn’t just a load of one-sided gratification on the part of Ryan Reynolds, either – Scarlett Johansson will get to experience plenty of joys as well. After all, Scarlett Johansson is one of the sexiest women in the world and literally has the pick of the most desirable men alive, and now that she’s effectively decided that the only man she’ll ever sleep with ever again is possibly most famous for that film where he wanked off a dog with some doughnuts, well, we’re sure she’s giddy with happiness.

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Scarlett & Ryan Engaged! – People