Scarlett Johansson Took That Commercial Money To Support Her Baby

Scarlett Johannson FianceScarlett Johansson recently got all sexy with a glass of homemade pop during her Soda Stream commercial that she basically sold her soul and convictions for.  It was all “Look at my hot body and buy this crappy ass carbonation machine for your gross tap water even though the company totally violates some human rights and laws! YAY money!”  She eventually lost her role as an Ambassador for OXFAM.

Well, now it kind of makes sense.  Being a role model for humanity doesn’t pay, but being a spokeswoman for a corporations totally does and it seems ScarJo had a very good reason for choosing money over rights.  Girlfriend is full of baby!  Plus, she was able to rock that body one more time before those hips widen and her boobs never look the same way again.

Scarlett Johansson is engaged to some French journalist named Romain Dauriac.  He decided to put a ring on it about 6 months ago, which would make this Scarlett’s second marriage.  She used to be the married to the oh so beautiful, but oh so douche Ryan Reynolds.  Somehow, she managed to have sex with that six-pack for 3 years without getting knocked up, but here with Dauriac she can’t even make it down the aisle.

Supposedly, ScarJo is about 5 months along, and the baby is due in this summer.  Now, it could just be coincidence that within a month of getting engaged they end up getting knocked up.  Or, if I put on my Detective Judgeyface hat, it is much more likely that they found out about the pregnancy at just about (read: 5 minutes before) they got engaged.  This would of course mean that their sweet little bundle of Joy would only have about 3 months left, not 4.

Now, in today’s world, there really is no big deal about getting pregnant without there being a ring on Mama’s left hand.  But some people still get a little nervous, and a lot of actresses’ P.R firms don’t like all that floozyness in their clients.  Scarlett’s already got the name of a ho, we don’t need a reason to slap her with a big ol letter A.  So, there is a good chance that ScarJo will go into labor in June, and that this baby will “miraculously” arrive 4 weeks early, perfectly healthy and still weighing a solid 7, 7.5 lbs.  Just miraculous.

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Comments

  1. Jaime Vergara says

    It’s incredible how low Ms. Leitch will stoop to attack someone she politically disagrees with. Unfortunately for the author of the scurrilous piece above, her position only shows the author’s total lack of any intellectual integrity.

    If paying Palestinians a living wage and benefits, far above what they could get in a Palestinian owned plant, is a crime against mankind, then I pray there be more such “criminal” acts helping people throughout the world!

    If Ms. Leitch is at all sincere in helping the Palestinians, she would applaud SodaStream and Ms. Johansson for her courage and for showing up the hypocrisy of those who attack her. There must be a reason why world opinion is turning against BDS, and why OXFAM is suddenly loosing contributions.

    Ms. Leitch, gossip writing is very forgivable – even enjoyable – hypocrisy and a lack of integrity, and outright lies are not!