Scarlett Johansson Given Some Pudding By Rah-Rah Students

Scarlett Johansson is a woman with so many career highlights - being the chesty girl in Lost In Translation, being the chesty girl in The Island - that it'd be hard to reach a new high; but thanks to Harvard's Hasty Pudding awards that's what she's done.

Because of her outstanding contribution to being chesty in some films that not many people have seen, the Harvard University Hasty Pudding Theatricals society has decided to name Scarlett Johansson as this year's recipient of the auspicious Hasty Pudding Woman Of The Year award - the world's most famous transvestite-based college prize named up watery heated-up corn meal. As the Hasty Pudding Woman Of The Year, Scarlett Johansson will now be able to… um… something about pudding we suppose.

Each year, the Harvard University Hasty Pudding Theatricals club likes to choose a man and a woman who have made a "lasting and impressive contribution to the world of entertainment." When it can't find anyone who fits that role, however, the Hasty Pudding club is just as quick to choose a girl with nice tits who's been in a couple of dreadful Woody Allen films and The Island. Scarlett Johansson is the only person who fills these requirements, so it was probably a good job that she accepted.

Scarlett Johansson has achieved so much in the space of her short career. She's played Mary Queen Of Scots, she's drawn a picture of some trainers, she's shown Keira Knightley her boobs and she forced Justin Timberlake to split up with his own mother. That's not all that Scarlett Johansson has done, of course - she's also been called sexy by some perverts and has made some films that we don't want to watch - but that counts for nothing now that she's been named as the Hasty Pudding Woman Of The Year in a ceremony yesterday. ABC explains exactly what the hell that means:

She participated in a mock SAT exam, and endured a lampooning of her famous unclad Vanity Fair cover pose. But the blonde actress kept mum when asked to make an analogy between director Woody Allen, in whose films she has appeared, and fashion designer Issac Mizrahi, who groped her breast on the red carpet at the Golden Globes last year. She was gleeful, though, in accepting the award. "Thank you so much for this fabulous golden pot. It's been such a wonderful day. This is the closest I'll ever get to a Harvard degree for sure," Johansson said. "It's a real honor and I can't wait till later tonight when we party." Before the roast, Johansson led a parade through Harvard Square, sitting in the back of a silver Bentley convertible, flanked by Harvard students in drag. 

A mock exam you say? Why, what a jolly wheeze! As Harvard Hasty Pudding Woman Of The Year, Scarlett Johansson joins a list of some of the most well-renowned actresses the world has ever seen, like Barbarella, Jessica Fletcher From Murder She Wrote, Miss Congeniality, The Horsey One From Sex And The City and Cher. And next week Ben Stiller will be named as the Hasty Pudding Man Of The Year, so expect all the same jokes then, except with the words "nice tits" replaced by "walking dinosaur skeleton."

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Hasty Crowns Johansson As Woman Of The Year - ABC