She’s got everything. A tattoo of an effeminate fish on her arm. A middle name that rhymes with her first name. Everything. Meanwhile, what’s boring old Sandra Bullock got? A best actress Oscar, a face that doesn’t move properly and a depressing dearth of tattooed cursive running right the way across her forehead. Ugh. Who’d want that?
Luckily, someone has now seen fit to stand up for Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee. Yes, it’s her dad so technically it doesn’t count and, yes, he obviously loves his daughter so much that he’s willing to overlook that time she dressed up as a Nazi. But at least he knows that she’s sorry. It’s written all over her face. Or at least something‘s written all over her face. She is a tattoo model, after all.
Her alleged 11-month affair with Jesse James was supposed to be the making of Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee. She presumably looked at all of Tiger Woods‘s mistresses, saw that one of them got a TV presenting deal due to her willingness to put it about willy nilly and thought that she’d be treated in the same way once she announced that she’d been having it off with Sandra Bullock’s husband. The fact that Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee very quickly sold her story to a magazine certainly lends credence to this theory.
But McGee’s dreams have all turned sour impossibly quickly. That’s partly because everyone likes Sandra Bullock, and would therefore be naturally disposed to dislike the woman who kept banging her husband, and partly because dressing up as a Nazi and licking a knife traditionally isn’t a particularly good way to engender sympathy from the general public.
So, right now, Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee needs a friend. She won’t find one in Jesse James, and the fish tattoo on her arm has been behaving in a noticeably frosty way since she came forward with her story, so who’ll stand up for her in this time of need? Why, none other than her father Denny McGee. Or Denny ‘Bombshell’ McGee. or The Lovely Denny McGee. Or whatever it is he calls himself. God knows.
Anyway, Denny McGee has done what any father in his situation would do. He’s looked through his daughter’s tattoos, her history of dressing up as a Nazi and her reputation as one of the most hated women on the planet, and he’s seen the innocent little girl who once loved normal little girl things, like ponies and princess and scrawling unreadable words across her forehead in permanent marker. He’ll stick up for his daughter no matter what. MSNBC reports:
“She told me that she was going out with Jesse James… the motorcycle guy. I’m like, ‘Oh, I thought he was married to Sandra Bullock.’ She goes, ‘Well, they were, but now they have a thing where they kind of live apart.’… I don’t know about my daughter having any Nazi — any relations with them at all. That’s ridiculous. She’s always been a good girl.”
See? You might look at Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee and see nothing more than a bunch of tattoos, a nickname that references an explosive device and a tedious flirtation with Nazi imagery, but her father sees something completely different. There’s a moral for us all there – admittedly it’s ‘all dads are stupid’, but that still counts, right?