Sandra, obviously, keeps the Oscar. Jesse gets to keep that funny little dog of his. And then there are Jesse James’s children – Chandler, Jesse Jr and Sunny. Who gets to keep those? Jesse James? Surely not – he’d only end up covering them in berserk fish tattoos to try and pretty them up. They’re not biologically hers, but could Sandra Bullock step in and win custody of them after the divorce?
In a word, no. There were rumours to the contrary, but Sandra Bullock’s rep has now firmly denied that she’s going to try to adopt the kids. And why should she? After all, she’s an Oscar-winning actress – soon enough she’ll have so many adopted African babies to care for that she’ll barely have time to look after anyone else.
Sandra Bullock has been keeping a low profile since it was revealed that her husband had been secretly sticking it to Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee – a woman who, to all intents and purposes, looks like a half-finished colouring-in book as owned by a toddler with ADD – and several stories have sprung up to fill the vacuum that her silence has caused.
And, in amongst all the usual waffle about divorces and whatnot, it was claimed that Sandra Bullock had designs on Jesse James’s kids. He’s got three of them, all from a previous marriage, and in interviews prior to the split, Bullock was fairly vocal about how attached she’d become to all of them. And now that he’s technically a single man again, it could mean that Jesse James would start bringing women back to the family home, each with a more illegible phrase tattooed across their face than the last. Imagine the effect that that would have on those poor kids.
Wouldn’t it be much better if Sandra Bullock simply adopted them instead? Anyone who has seen her films knows that she’s the perfect mother figure – she’s kind, approachable, has a great sense of humour and her face is so completely rigid that she’d never have the energy to open her mouth wide enough to shout at you. If Sandra Bullock adopted those children from Jesse James, everyone would win, right?
No. And it doesn’t matter either way, because it’s not like she’s going to do it anyway. People reports:
Despite reports, Sandra Bullock isn’t aiming to become a legal parent to her husband’s three kids. “There are no plans, nor have there ever been any plans, for Sandra Bullock to adopt any of Jesse James’s children,” her rep tells PEOPLE.
So, just to reiterate, some people thought that Sandra Bullock was going to do something, but in reality she isn’t. This is news. You’re welcome, the internet.