World Of Warcraft is huge – if you’re a lonely single male who smells like his own underwear, you’ll know this.
But what next? Once you’ve created a game as all-encompassing as World Of Warcraft – where you’re guaranteed to never be more than three feet away from a Korean adolescent with crippling emotional problems – what do you do next? Simple, you turn it into a blockbuster movie featuring a procession of silly haircuts and a borderline-harrowing egg-based musical interlude.
That is to say that Sam Raimi, director of Spider-Man 3 and no other films, is making a World Of Warcraft movie.
Sam Raimi is currently busy putting Spider-Man 4 together for a 2011 release. And we’re pretty excited about it – if the pattern of the last three Spider-Man movies hold then it’s bound to be 12 hours long, full of so many different villains that nobody can really tell what’s going on, utilise a new method of emoting whereby every character gets a different haircut depending on what mood they’re in, feature no less than 14 jarringly awful musical sequences and star a malnourished ice-preserved prehistoric caveman as Kirsten Dunst. It’s going to be awesome.
But what will Sam Raimi do after Spider-Man 4? Well, it turns out that he’s going to direct a game based on World Of Warcraft. Oh, come on, don’t pretend that you don’t know what World Of Warcraft is – it’s a) the world’s biggest multiplayer online game and b) the third most embarrassing thing you can do on the internet after downloading obesity porn and setting your Facebook relationship setting to ‘it’s complicated’. We should let Reuters do the actual explaining here:
Blizzard Entertainment Inc. and Legendary Pictures said on Wednesday that Raimi has signed to make a film out of the Warcraft universe of Azeroth. “Raimi has, in the course of his career, clearly demonstrated a genius for developing and adapting existing fictional universes for mainstream audiences while staying true to the spirit of the original content,” the companies said in a joint statement.
So will Sam Raimi’s World Of Warcraft movie be popular, or even good? It’s hard to say. On one hand, World Of Warcraft has 11.5 million monthly subscribers, which is a pretty large audience base. But on the other hand, they’d all probably dissolve the instant that they came into direct contact with sunlight. Similarly, it’s hard to take a game with 11.5 million different narratives all going on simultaneously and make an engaging, non-interactive story out of it.
But we have total faith in Sam Raimi. As Evil Dead and Drag Me To Hell proved, he’s an inventive and entertaining director – and as Spider-Man proved, he’s able to create commercial blockbusters at the drop of a hat. So nobody has any need to panic about this news – we’re sure that World Of Warcraft will easily become one of the most successful illegal downloads in all of history.
crt says
“Sam Raimi, director of Spider-Man 3 and no other films”
eh?
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000600/
Mithaearon says
oh dear crt, missing the point of the humour are we? :P
JoeMomma says
Really? Do we need another videogame movie? Hasn’t that been proven to be a formula for failure? I’d say Mortal Kombat is probably the best of the bunch, but even still, it’s no Big Momma’s House.
So lets see…
Super Mario Brothers – crap
Street Fighter – crap
Wing Commander – mega crap
Mortal Kombat – okish
Mortal Kombat sequels – crap
Doom – crap
Street Fighter with Chung Li – unknown it was only in the movie theaters for 30 seconds
Pong – amazing
katmandu62 says
Okaaaayy….. so the people who would actually want to see this movie will just download it illegally so the can watch it without having to leave their house. The rest of us won’t care. Epic FAIL.
eq plat says
I’m actually excited about this. As long as Blizzard are heavily involved and consulted in the making of this film then I think it will be fine. Sam Raimi? well this is certainly a surprise.
Si says
Hope bruce campbell is in it – innit.
Ironlung says
lol nub wow ftw tbh kkthxbai
Quagmire says
I can hear the banter in the movie theater.
“No no no, it’s all wrong, flaming hammer then lightning of doom to defeat the skeletons. Not, rain of arrows and earthly thunder. This movie is shit. It deviates from the source material too much. Just wait until I tell me clan!”