Salma Hayek In Mad Eskimo Escapade

Hollywood actress Salma Hayek is to join the Inuit residents of Iqaluit in a bizarre ritual, designed - apparently - to ‘draw attention to the issue of climate change.‘

Hayek and other assorted activists will arrange themselves strategically on the sea ice and be photographed from the air as they ‘form a giant image of an Inuit drum dancer.’ According to Los Angeles artist John Quigley, the baffling get-together will be a ‘wake-up call from the top of the world.‘

Erm … to whom, exactly?

Call hecklerspray old-fashioned, but wouldn’t this ‘message’ reach a lot more people if it was … you know … clear or something? Quigley claims that the whole overblown routine - a $35,000 dollar venture, no less - will result in a groundbreaking combination of ‘a landscape, a group of people and a political moment’.

Notice how he failed to add ‘and a reason‘ to that little list.

Sheila Watt-Cloutier, head of something called the Inuit Circumpolar Conference, also enthused about the project, claiming that in local wintry circles it had become "the talk of the town".

We just bet it has, Sheila. Talk that probably goes along the lines of ‘why the bloody hell are these stupid rich people arsing around making shapes in the snow? Couldn’t they all just go and sign a petition, maybe?’

The enormous drum-shaped effigy will also contain the Inuit translation of the word ‘look‘ …  to which the question can be put: look at what?

Yeah, yeah, this is all very noble in spirit. But it’s also all very stupid and pointless too, something which kind of negates the organiser’s ambitions to raise awareness of America’s refusal to sign up to Kyoto treaty.

It’s hard to imagine little Georgie Bush opening the paper, getting a glimpse of a snapshot of this psuedo-profoundo love-in and thinking: ‘well, shit. I was steeped neck-deep in corporate corruption and enviromental contempt, but now I’ve seen an aerial picture of a giant Eskimo instrument, I’ve changed my mind completely? Quick - somebody get me a tree to hug and kiss!‘

As for Salma’s motivation in taking part? Maybe she just fancied getting out of the Hollywood Hills for a while, leaving the acting business behind. And who could blame her? Having to watch Pierce Brosnan gurn like an epileptic grandad while filming After The Sunset would be enough to put anyone off …

Take your pick of Salma Hayek movies here

More Snowbound Strangeness Here

[story by C J Davies]