You know what this world needs? You may be thinking ‘a cure for cancer’, ‘peace in the middle east’, or ‘someone to take a weed whacker to the eyebrows of the bad guy on Heroes’, but you’d be wrong. Dead wrong, you dimwits.  

What this world really needs, obviously, is for a totally over-used host of about a billion of the most annoying shows on the planet to pair up with a middle-aged man that used to run on the beach in slow motion with ridiculously endowed lifeguards, and then make a comedy TV show. Well, it looks like miracles do happen, because Ryan Seacrest and David Hasselhoff are in the works to create a TV show loosely based on David Hasselhoff’s life. Oh, we can barely contain our giddiness! 

Yup, it’s been announced that Ryan Seacrest will take time out of his task of dragging out American Idol result shows to a tortuous degree to team up with David Hasselhoff to create Tales From The Hoff. Ryan Seacrest will be executive producer of the dark comedy which will be based on aspects of David Hasselhoff’s life. Personally, we can’t see how one can turn out an entire show from footage of David Hasselhoff eating a hamburger on the floor whilst totally drunk off his trash, but throw in a few snippets of him claiming to have brought down the Berlin Wall through maudlin rock anthems, and maybe you’ve got a bit of something there. 

To be more specific, and with any luck more factually accurate, Tales From The Hoff will be inspired by David Hasselhoff’s experiences as a star with vacillating degrees of success trying to pump some life into his career. E! Online states that the show will also be influenced by David Hasselhoff’s dating life as a divorced dad trying in Hollywood. Sounds to us like some cheesy pick-lines and fully warranted face slaps from offended women are surely in store! At least we really hope they are, because we’re not really sure why else we’d watch.  

So, it seems that if you’re a member of the group of people at the E! Network that decides what shows to make, you’re either a genius wizard, or a useless tree stump that is going to get canned as soon as Tales From The Hoff hits the fan because people really can’t handle another reason to laugh at David Hasselhoff without their brain exploding. 

You know come to think of it, even if Tales from the Hoff is a huge success, David Hasselhoff will never be able to recreate the artistic beauty of his Hooked On A Feeling music video. Seriously, it’s probably the best music video with a fifty-something year old man suspended by a poorly concealed harness doing tricks off of a motorcycle in front of a blue screen we’ve ever had the privilege of seeing.   

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Seacrest Taps Into The Hoff's Tales - E! Online