Russell Howard must have a terrible time with the ladies, what with him constantly displaying a wandering eye. Have you noticed how it mooches around his skull like a beetle tied to a six inch nail?
Aside from his funny eye and the fact that he’s about as funny as finding a shallow grave, Russell has had a slice of bad news while, ironically, filming his woeful ‘Good News’ show.
Basically, he was taken to hospital last night after breaking fingers. We were hoping that the mafia did it, but sadly, he was horsing around on a chair, rather than cowering under the threat of extermination.
The injury was sustained, according to those good guys at Chortle, during a stunt in which the unfunny-man performed a press-up on a chair.
IS HE GOING TO LOSE HIS HAND AS A RESULT?!
Of course not. Bad things never happen to terrible people. In fact, so gentle is the breakage that he continued filming for 20 minutes and watched edited footage of the show before leaving for hospital.
While in hospital, he probably cracked a few jokes to exhausted hospital staff who invariably wondered if it would be okay to inject him with a syringe full of toilet cleaner.
One of the show?s writers, Karl Minns, confirmed on Twitter:
?Russell Howard is alive and well, albeit with a busted hand. Have volunteered to punch in his PIN number for him. Now in Rio…?
Hopefully, Howard is now being shot at in a favela if that’s the case.
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Itisme says
Whoa. You are such a BITCH. Nobody should wish stuff like that upon anyone.
Connah Mount says
WHOEVER WROTE THIS. YOU ARE THE BIGGEST W**KER THAT I HAVE EVER HEARD!
JEALOUSY IS AN UGLY EMOTION AND I BELIEVE IT IS BECAUSE HE HAS EARNED A MILLION PLUS BY BEING “UNFUNNY” AS YOU PUT IT AND YOU ARE STILL WRITING STUPID IMMATURE LITTLE BLOGS WHERE YOU SL*G PEOPLE OFF TO COVER UP YOUR PATHETIC UNFULFILLED LIFE!
BEHAVE YOURSELF AND GET A GRIP!!!
Rlmo says
Quit your bitching, even if u don’t think he’s funny its not as if hes done something wrong! if you look hard enough, i’m sure you’ll be able to find something useful to do with your time…
ethan says
i hate you, go *
YoureNasty says
youre a horrible person. For starters, i think hes really funny and even if i didnt, you shouldnt wish that upon anyone. I hope you break your finger, you idiot.
Chloe says
I like Russel Howard and find him very funny… if you don’t like him just don’t watch him… there really is no need for this!
Gary says
Poor cover on this story – its not a nice thing to happen to anyone! Bad story!
James says
Totally unprofessional write up, I’m surprised you even bothered posting that load of crap.
Hopefully one day you break your hand, and then you’ll see how unfunny it is. Prat.
mof***** gimmers says
if only you were actually funny mof
Alfonso says
Wow… Bit hypocritical writing an article claiming how unfunny he is and woeful… when you yourself seem 100 times unfunnier, almost as if your trying so hard to be funny that its proven to show your awful wit.
At a guess, probably trying too hard in order to get you a writing deal for something that actually gets read more than a few times a day, I pray this is not your day job… How awful that would be for you…
Good luck with that ‘Mof’…
Jeez, it just got worse once I saw your name…
Amanda says
You obviously know nothing about humor. The man is hilarious.
And you should never wish or celebrate harm upon other people, what has he ever done to you?
If you don’t like his show, just change the channel.
Rude.
Aaaanyway, bye!
James says
He is one of the best comedians on the circuit he can fill the o2 but then again I guess you don’t understand that. Just like youll read this and reject it for your website comments. Because your wrong. The majority find the guy funny. If you don’t like him you don’t have to watch him anyway
Ellie says
Someone feeling jealous?
Jillian Jane says
I agree with Itisme. I think it makes you more of a horrible person to wish stuff like that on people.
Sally says
Who is Russell Howard?
uracunt says
what the f#ck is wrong with you? i feel sorry for such a loser like you, you hate russell cause he has talent something you obviously will never possess…oh and as someone already pointed out…the fact you try so hard to be funny yourself is ironic cause your obviously weren’t!!!
About as Funny as Cancer says
Whoever wrote this is about as funny as cancer. If you don’t like Russell Howard then fine, but dont make yourself look ridiculous by trying to write a roast about him when you have the sense of humour of a ham sandwich.
Secret92 says
This is horrendous! If you don’t like him, don’t watch him! It’s actually abuse. He’s a comedian for crying out loud, not a “terrible person”. I know where you can stick this article. Wishing death on someone? Why the website published this I will never know!
Stephen Blatch says
I hope any advertisers on this site read the comments on this hateful and abusive “article”. Pull your advertising now it’s the only way that Hecklerspray will get the message. Don’t be associated with this sort of trashy poison! I don’t now Russell Howard but neither does the writer. Wishing death on someone who doesn’t make you laugh! REMOVE THIS NOW!
JC says
I’d respect the person writing this more if they were even vaguely humerous themselves. If you’re going to rip someone at least do it to a decent standard, surely? What a cunt.
CS says
This dick should be taken out and shot for his/her stupid report. He/she is obviously on their own in not finding the wonderful Russell a delight and extremely funny. You are not funny you a**hole leave humour to those who understand it, like Russell does!
bill says
this is brilliant.
babybell says
As if you can call him a terrible person even if you don’t find him funny you can’t call him a terrible person. I think you are a terrible journalist and a total douchebag. Loser.
Amused says
I really hope this comment was supposed to be ironic…
Anonymous says
Hi there,
We all enjoyed your article at the Good News office, it was passed around and we all found it hilarious. Obviously Russ hasn’t seen it but there’s no reason to show him. Let us know if you post anything else about the show!
Regards,
Good News staff
Anonymous says
hahaha whoever wrote this is a dickhead
Tom says
The person who wrote this article is a cunt
Dan Cooper says
Wow, I got maybe two paragraphs into your article and had to stop reading. People have accidents and stuff happens. Thats life. What you have done is here, is take this chance to rant and air your personal opinion on Howard. Awful article.
For one, Russell is very funny. Second, I hope you do not consider yourself a journalist. I am studying journalism and this isn’t it This is spiteful and it makes me happy to see all the comments from people who agree you’re a loser.
Not newsworthy, more a whine from someone – maybe a failed comedian – who has some sort of axe to grind. Feel sorry for you.
YouDon'tWannaKnow says
I know I’m definately not the first to say I object, but if you really don’t want to get many negative comments, may I suggest you start a new website or account titled ‘Let’s Bitch about Russell Howard’ so that people who actally do agree can go there?
Also, Russell may not be the best comedian in the world, and not everyone likes the same things, may I just say, that hypocritically, his lamest jokes bring on a much more brighter smile to people’s faces than your forced comuic writing?
I know that articles can be biased, but do try to not make it oh so obvious.
that’s all…
sam says
you are obviously not from the good news staff how stupid do you have to be to think people would believe it
Anonymous says
What an awful article. The majority view that he is a great comedian is not even the point. Why have you taken the time to write such a hateful article about someone you dont even know? nothing better to do?
Anonymous says
This is why we can’t have nice things
Jessica says
You win. Russell also wins. This person takes the piss and not in a good way. Everything you said wins.
Alex hines says
WHOEVER WROTE THIS IS THE BIGGEST **** EVER. RUSSELL IS HILARIOUS AND IF U WISH THE MAFIA DID IT THEN U R CLEARLY JEALOUS.
Chris says
You are completely out of order, I find him funny and the show is something I look forward to every week. He has some bad luck while trying to entertain his audience, all you’ve done is p*ss off your audience when all you had to do was write a short and simple story. You don’t deserve a page to write on, you may slate his career but I hope your’s crashes and burns :)
F. YOU says
FCUK YOU Heckler Spray.
WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS AN UN-FUNNY PIECE OF SHIT?
YOUR SITE AND BLOGGERS. HOPE YOU ALL GET AIDS & DIE!!!!!
EXPECT THIS FROM AN AMERICAN. UNABLE TO UNDERSTAND COMEDY!
Supermassive crack lol says
To be fair, ham sandwiches are pretty funny. Just ask mama Cass.
John says
I don’t really comment much on these things .. But seriously people – WHO CARES if he is funny or unfunny.
I personally don’t think Russell Howard is funny, he has moments of humour but I generally sh*t. I think he is more annoying than anything, but each to their own aye.
Still think it is a shame he broke his finger, it should have been his neck.
Concerned Citizen says
I personally find Russell Howard to be one of the least funny people on TV.
I can’t abide to watch him. His comedy seems to be based around the idea:
1. look at a ridiculous, slightly tongue in cheek headline from one of the tabloids;
2. laugh at it a bit and explain how hilarious it is;
3. expand on it in a slightly surreal but ultimately unimaginative way.
(4. make some silly gestures at some point in this process if possible.)
Howard’s comedy is totally unchallenging, lazy, lowest common denominator twaddle. I also have occasionally found it quite offensive that he doesn’t challenge some of the hair-brained Jeremy Kyle propaganda from the red tops that he draws his material from.
Seriously, what’s the point in a comedian who has nothing to say apart from what’s already in the dumbed-down, shit-stirring, phone hacking gutter press?
The man’s a walking tragedy.
Connor Wilson says
Congratulations on being thoroughly unpleasant just to get an obvious angry response from your Webpage!
I’m sure Russell with his main stream national television shows and sold out stand up events will be terribly depressed knowing that someone with a ridiculous first name who writes Articles for one of the thousands of Internet pages no-one has heard of can think of semi-witty insults laced with Juvenile middle class vitrol.
Ooh, please tell me you review movies and have opinions about them as well.
Yay.
Aimee says
Wow your a prick. Russell is a total legend. He is hilarious and it isn’t funny that he broke his finger. He is a trouper for going back on stage. I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but clearly you need your head examined because wishing something like that on someone is cruel. Get a fucking life.
Ur a Prick says
Oh sorry..who are you?? A nobody? Oh right, do one then your site is crap!!
fail says
its funny the way that there are 2 people who hate russell howard and every one else loves him, i think team howard wins ;D
CameronKW says
May i just say that this would be totally hilarious if it was russell howard writing this or one of his mates to play a trick or summink on him and then you@ve all just said that bout the writer ahha that would be awesome but yh russell is a legend i watch him all the time not one joke hasnt made me laugh it’s just nasty writing things like these so whoever wrote it write it on something less public please as i definitely dont want to see this when i am busy trying to find something that was just to harsh i get what ya saying like you have ya own opinion and all or had like bad experience with comedy or summink but still don’t take the piss out of a top notch comedian who if ran this page would mst certainly get alot more views and comments in like a year then you would in 10 whole life times
BekLouKat says
if you ‘hate’ him so much why are you spending your time writing about him and reasearching what happened? okay you don’t think he’s funny, but we do, so just piss off and don’t bother…
boo ya says
he is shit though. with a wonky eye.
boo ya says
and looks like a lesbian. a young skinny sandi toksvig.
with a wonky eye.
David says
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Fuck You Cunts says
Basically Rusle howard is shit and is a crap low life!
dontworryaboutmyname says
YOU ARE ONE TRUELY NASTY FUCKER!
RUSSELL HOWARD IS A LEGEND ,HIS AMAZING AND HILARIOUS IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY TAKE YOUR SHIT SOME WHERE ELSE!
THIS MAN EARNS MILLIONS A YEAR AND GET OVER 3.5ML VIEWERS A WEEK HE DOES SOMETHING WITH HIS LIFE INSTEAD OF WRITING SHIT ALL OVER THE INTERNET LIKE YOU.
AND ABOUT HIS WONKY EYE I PERSONALLY THINK HE MAKES HIM LOOK CUTE! AND ANYWAY DONT START POINTING OUT THINGS ABOUT PEOPLE WHEN YOUR NOT PROBABLY PERFECT YOUSELF! I CAN ALREADY TELL YOU UGLY BY YOU PERSONALITY.
Mae says
“He probably cracked a few jokes and the nurses wanted to inject him with toilet cleaner”????? WTF u say u are a journalist then start writing about an imaginary scene in hospital? Well your a cunt! You haven’t met this man you don’t know him so how can YOU tell what he’s like off stage??
NEVER BOTHER ANYONE ABOUT YOUR BULLSHIT AGAIN
Oitfingyuog says
Just stop being such a bitch and go and die in a hole somewhere! -.-
Your a whore says
Haha, yeah hes obviosuly unfunny considering this is the 5th series and is the most popular show on bbc three… Yeah he must be dreadful. Seriously, if you don’t like it, FUCK OFF and don’t watch the program or look for threads to disrespect him on. And don’t criticise him in front of me because i am literally in love with him ;) (metaphorically).
Amira Baker says
youre a moron. russell is legendary and he would never wish harm on someone even as vile as you.
dick.
boo ya says
A wonkey eyed lesbian looking white lenny henry unfunny cunt.
Yep that’s it.
Bich niccuh says
Nice job man, the Russell babies are getting mad as fuck. Insult him again keep it up.
Oscar says
Damn you! Russell is funnier than you ever will be you asshole!
Daria says
Russell Howard is the best looking man alive! I dont know what it is but he is attractive.. love him to bits! Funny man alive!