Rotund psychic globe-trotter Russell Grant has announced that – despite the fact that Pluto has been officially downgraded to a 'dwarf-planet' – he has no intention of changing the way he thinks.

So – if you're one of the millions of clueless, desperate halfwits open-minded stargazers who visit Russell's site… fear not! He won't be altering his special magic space charts in any way whatsoever.

No doubt speaking from his brainwave-powered moon palace (with extra-large walk-in refrigerator), Russell Grant babbled:

"I personally am shaken not stirred. It's very interesting that Pluto's been downgraded in a planetary sense because he could never be downgraded in a mythological sense. I will continue to use Pluto because he gives me the ability to look into people's charts and see where they're coming from psychologically."

Russell Grant's legions of followers are said to be 'thrilled' about the news. That is, they would be thrilled if they weren't all:

a) desperately hormonal women wondering what the future holds after they drop the kids off to school in the range-rover tomorrow,

b) desperately hormonal women wondering whether the rise of Saturn will allow them to shag the gardener while their investment banker husband is away on business,

c) desperately hormonal women wondering whether the kitten they've drugged and shoved into a tiny dress will ever, ever turn into a real-life little girl.

As for hecklerspray's thoughts on Pluto's new status… well, we don't really care much. We're just happy we managed to get through a space-related diatribe without sniggering at our Uranus jokes.

Which is more than can be said for that Challenger eulogy we gave.

Read More:

Pluto still a high flyer - Yahoo!

[story by C J Davies]