As Master And Commander and A Good Year proved, there's nothing that Russell Crowe likes more than rolling out a useless British accent in his films, so he'd be the obvious first choice to play the Sheriff Of Nottingham in a new Robin Hood film.
Russell Crowe has reportedly signed up for Nottingham, which is vastly different from previous Robin Hood films because it focuses on The Sheriff Of Nottingham investigating murders carried out by the villainous Robin Hood and his band of men. It was thought that Russell Crowe was the first choice for Nottingham because of the movie's spectacular climax – where The Sheriff Of Nottingham gets smashed on the contents of his minibar, lurches downstairs and knocks Robin Hood unconscious with a telephone before pulling some embarrassing karate moves in front of everyone.
The Sheriff Of Nottingham is one of history's greatest villains, for the brutal way that he tried to stop a thief dressed in tights from shooting people with a bow and arrow just because they were richer than him. And when actors play The Sheriff Of Nottingham, they always play up the evil side, unless they're Keith Allen in the BBC1 version of Robin Hood, in which case they basically make him a medieval Frank Spencer.
But the makers of new Universal Robin Hood film Nottingham are turning the legend on its head, making The Sheriff Of Nottingham the good guy on the trail of a murdering bandit, who just happens to be Robin Hood. Ethan Reiff, one of the writers of Nottingham, told E! Online more:
"He's trying to do the right thing, but he's up against Robin Hood, who's becoming heroic while not necessarily acting in the nicest way."
And who better to play this new noble Sheriff Of Nottingham than staggering Antipodean fight-machine Russell Crowe. It's genius casting really, because Russell Crowe and the Sheriff Of Nottingham have so much in common. Like Russell Crowe, The Sheriff Of Nottingham once got pissed up in a hotel and injured an immigrant because he forgot how to work a telephone. Like Russell Crowe, The Sheriff Of Nottingham once got told off for smoking on a stage in New Zealand. And like Russell Crowe, The Sheriff Of Nottingham once had a fight with George Clooney about who was shitter.
Or maybe we're wrong and Russell Crowe would make a better Robin Hood. After all, Kevin Costner was the last megastar to play Robin Hood and he and Russell Crowe both share the same remarkably humourless personality as well as both having terrible vanity project bands.
Either way, after the miserable box office failure of A Good Year and the firm ruling out of a Steve Irwin biopic, maybe Nottingham will be just what Russell Crowe needs. Universal seems to think so – Crowe is reportedly getting paid $20 million against 20% of the gross for the movie, and Nottingham has been fast-tracked for release next year.
We're pleased about this news, partly because the premise sounds interesting and partly because there's nothing we like more than seeing foreigners pay thousands of pounds to travel to Nottingham only for them to experience the slow realisation that Nottingham is a shitheap and Sherwood forest has a fucking Centre Parcs in the middle of it.