Rupert Everett Complains About Having To Get Dressed

Loads of women lust after Hollywood chin-meister Rupert Everett, despite him being as gay as a My Little Pony theme pub. He’s an idle swine too. Heaven forbid he might actually have to wheel his giant mandible out of the front door and work for a living.

After lounging about in his four-poster bed eating grapes and reading off a sheet of paper into a microphone, the toughest thing Rupert Everett has had to do since recording his voice via satellite for Shrek 3 is put on a dress. He has been wearing said garment, not as you might expect for his own personal gratification, but for the part of Miss Fritton in a wretchedly pointless remake of a wretchedly pointless series of films first time around - St Trinian's.

Everett remarked from his deathbed:

"It was really fun for the first two days, and then it became an absolute nightmare."

Shrek 3 though, Everett loved, essentially because he was playing himself:

"I identified a lot with the role. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing dinner theatre when I should be starring in huge movies! I think it's a lovely film. I watched it yesterday, and I really enjoyed it and I feel very lucky to be in it."

Everyone in the Western Hemisphere with access to electricity and a TV knows what a lazy workshy fop Rupert Everett really is. Who can forget his namby-pamby appearance on the last Comic Relief Red Nose Day Celebrity Apprentice special? He got all touchy when Piers Morgan suggested he phone up some of his celeb buddies to help raise some cash, then sloped back to Primrose Hill for a cuddle and a decaffeinated, non-fat, unsweetened, no-milk mochachino after realising he might actually need to appear in front of a camera for the programme to make sense. In short, if you want Rupert Everett to do any work you have to pay him, massage his ego like the skin on a supermodel’s back and then pay him some more.

Everett continued with Shrek’s punishing work schedule:

"The look of it is deeper and more romantic than the first ones, in a way, so it was a real thrill to see the way it looked. I recorded my lines in Los Angeles, New York, London, Germany and even Hong Kong. That's the great beauty - you can do it by satellite."

If ole stroppy-chin can make it through the rigours of wearing women’s clothes and breathing, he will surely be available as Non-Camp Gay Best Friend for the next romantic comedy to feature Madonna and/or somebody out of Green Wing. And in case you miss him at the premiere for My Non-Camp Gay Best Friend’s Chelsea Dinner Party, he’ll be the one earning ten times more than you and complaining that the pile in the red carpet is obstructing his loafers.

Read More:

Rupert Everett Hated Dressing As A Woman For The New St Trinian’s Movie – Female First