We’re Running Out Of Headlines For Justin Bieber Being A Dick

Justin Bieber mugshotIt’s exam time for a lot of people reading this, and I appreciate you probably haven’t had time to keep up with that crazy kid known as Justin Bieber. So here ‘s a quick update – he’s still acting like a monumental dick.?

Do you need more than that? Well, for your own hate-reading pleasure, may I present the tale of Justin Bieber And The Attempted Burglary Accusation That Isn’t Really That Shocking In The Slightest. It’s a good one as well, it involves a miniature golf course and the phrase “You’re humiliating yourself”.

Our tale begins in Sherman Oaks Castle Park in California, where a lady was hanging around the batting cage with her thirteen year old daughter.

She noticed Bieber and the rest of his greasy-mustached friends playing a few rounds of mini golf before going to hit some balls at the batting cage and arguing with some guys there. There aren’t any more details about this fight, but it’s pretty safe to assume it was just the result of too much sugar and a ‘Yo Mamma’ joke.

The lady then pulled out her phone to film the fight, but accidentally brought down the wrath of Bieber on herself. I don’t know if you’ve ever had an overexcited Jack Russell nip at you, but put an over sized snapback on that dog and I’d imagine that’s what this woman was dealing with.

justin bieber being gross

Bieber demanded to see her phone to see if she’d gotten any photos of him. When she refused, Justin wrestled with her, grabbed her phone out her bag, and got about as far as the lock screen before he remembered that it’s 2014 and phone security has moved on from just pressing the star key.

The woman says that she eventually gave in and showed Justin she hadn’t taken any photos of him in order to avoid tripping over his bottom lip. The 20-year old white guy who wears saggy jeans and uses the word ‘swag’ unironically then reportedly screamed “You’re humiliating yourself in front of your daughter” and told her to leave while her daughter sobbed next to her.

With a thirteen year old girl in tears and Bieber’s work done for the day, he ran away to kick a puppy in the face and the woman filed a complaint with the LAPD. The police are still determining if a crime occurred that night or not, but this whole incident isn’t going to help all the ongoing legal battles he’s still facing from driving under the influence and assaulting his limo driver.

In the meantime, enjoy this exclusive clip of Bieber’s lawyer…

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