Rubbish Cars We Love: Ford Granada Mk 2 – Bigger, Fatter, Better

Though all Ford Granada Mk 2s are worth the price of admission, we love beyond all hope of saving that killer-pimp 2.8 litre injection. It was deadlier than strawberry flavoured anti-freeze.

British:

No, but it was built there, alongside Cologne in Germany - presumably to mix an interesting convention of national stereotypes: precision yet “whenever”, proud yet “ask t’bloody trade union,” etc.

When the very first Granada appeared in 1972 it looked half-finished. That didn’t stunt its popularity though. Nor did an unbelievably tenuous lawsuit from a regional TV station of the same name. Incidentally the station dropped the suit, along with their famed studio tour, in the mid-nineties. Shame that, as it was really rather good. The tour we mean.

The Ford Granada motor vehicle range originally included ‘Consul‘ models, lowly budget variations with a cooler name, but less on the dashboard. The overall visage remained in place; an elongated Cortina that would cost you a heck of a lot more to keep in petrol.

Underneath the skin, things were a bit more exciting. An aces deck of engine sizes (including a fat ‘Essex’ V6) and nice, sensible, rear drum brakes. The UK-abandoned coupe model is the one to have for all those slap-headed muscle car fetishists out there.

Preferred:

In 1977 George Lucas released Star Wars, some time in late June we think. It was full of spaceships that were meant to look old. Ford evidently decided square, refuse bin-like transportation was also the way to go and punctually introduced their Granada Mk 2. Anticipation of actually having a completed car this time was high.

The newly rigid Granada Two was an instant smash, leaving it to be sold almost unchanged for eight criminally-fraternalised years. With Ford’s most concerted attempt at change being in 1981 (new grille, better exhaust, power steering), all that remained was to instill that wonderful 2.8 into the line-up some twelve months later.

Fast:

It was such a fucker.

No other way to express why we love the ‘Ghia X’ fuel-injected Granada masterpiece so much - despite its reputed faults (at the time, but even more so now) of temperature fluctuations, uneven panel fits and a guzzling MPG to match the yank president’s motorcade. You must see past the occasional glitch and focus your attention on where the 2.8 commands it; on the road, doing a ton and revving up the arse of a bunch of teenagers in a Clio .

We base all our love on one journey inside Ford’s phatest Granada, nothing more. We have not tried living with the thing, paying for its upkeep or even so much as squeegeeing the windscreen.

Our confidence in the car’s ability comes from its moody geezer reputation and bulldozing looks. It is so neatly nestled near the top of our fantasy wish list we don’t even care if it turns out to handle like a Leyland truck. We want one and we’re saving.

Tyre Kicker:

You’ll need to become an avid one if you want to buy a 2.8 on the current used market. It’s likely most examples in the classifieds have fallen prey to the rust monster, or come with a hefty list of too-expensive-to-fix-at-the-time problems. The only buyers market out there is a rich one.

Nevertheless we did spot a sympathetically restored 2.8 Litre Ghia X for sale, recently concours, for a comparatively reasonable £2,895. Minister’s black and matching unmarked cloth into the bargain. Wow, was that baby a sight?! Pity it came during the Christmas run-up or we might have been tempted.

There are plenty of other Mk 2 variants worth buying if you have less than a grand to spend (have a look on ebay.co.uk). A keen eye for frantic wielding and crackling under the paintwork are The Golden Rules, with no smoke and transmission knocks coming up a close silver.

Stick to the 2.0 litre petrol engines too. They still have just about enough grunt to do the job.

Healthy:

Obsession is key to any meaningful relationship with a retro car. You must your love your brute enough not to hate it every time the damp kills a dream motorway commute during the Cup Final. In short, be forgiving.

Especially so with your Mk 2 Granada. Soon there might not be many left.

[story by Chris Laverty]