We are quite partial to the odd estate here at hecklerspray. We like non-turbos especially because we feel sorry for them.

Consider this truth…that there has never been a truly good-looking estate car. Ever. And that the Audi 200 is no exception.

Though the big, fat, lovable Audi is currently as cheap to buy as a new moped – and that should double as sex appeal in anyone’s book.

What’s the Damage?:

We all know Audi, an offshoot of the four-ringed Auto Union, owned by Volkswagen from 1964 onwards, as resolutely German as bratwurst, make cars for people desperate not to buy a BMW 3 Series, suspension harder than a Russell Crowe knuckle sandwich.

Way back in the 200’s day, say 1988 for a pinnacle year of outlay and consumption, Audi were still riding high on the Quattro rally name (including an impressive TransAm win in the U.S.). Kudos for that, big time, but a company’s heritage can only remain credible if they innovate. And not just technical mumbo-jumbo, real innovation, making cars that people actually want to park in their driveways.

The 200 estate was no looker – and it still feels a little too curvy in today’s bubble design quandary, but it did have nerve. Plus a fantastic roly-poly backside that continues to keep Chris Bangle up past midnight at his drawing board. The 200 was special.

Special Like a Surprise Party or Special Like a Private Clinic?:

A little of both, if truth be told. This is cruiser’s car, not one to do drive-bys in or employ as a student runabout (it’s far too thirsty). Old people look good in an Audi 200 estate. They suit its regal demeanour and comfortable arrogance. Maybe they know something you don’t. Could the secret of eternal life really be hidden under the 200’s bonnet? Many people have glanced at this ultimate of nuevo-estates and found their inner selves – modest, upright, dependable and prone to occasional bouts of brilliance.

The ride in an Audi 200 is akin to hitching a lift on the back of a horse drawn carriage. It’s not electrifying, but refreshing enough and even fast (a 140-mph best day top speed) under the right circumstances. Reliability should never be a serious problem with full history. Volkswagen crossover parts are relatively easy to source, providing the turbo has been cared for. That’s right, if you must go turbo you will need to face the bills. More often than not repairs in this department can far outweigh the 200’s worth. This is never truer than in today’s bustling used car market when anything from £500 – £2,000 can buy you a sorted example without double-figure owner history.

Boris Becker:

…is probably the most handsome German ever to cross the murky depths. Somehow people really like him too, which is quite surprising considering his dry humour and grumpy aloofness. Boris though is a winner and everyone loves a winner. Just like everyone loves at least one model Audi. The classic conformist’s choice is the Quattro coupe, with the 200 left to collect supporting gongs for sturdiness and girth. Still, these are qualities that have eluded every Citroen produced since the mid-seventies, so are not to be sniffed at.

Audi made the 200 estate to be useful and occasionally charming. This is a manufacturer who embraces modern while ultimately conceding defeat with beauty. Always a gorgeous front grill of course, never any change there.

Mr Buy-Right:

With cash in your pocket and access to a pre-paid mobile, you will need to search long and hard to find a worthwhile 200 estate in the UK. Most are run into the ground by their owners. Or else they die first and the car moves to Croatia with a syphoned inheritance.

Any Audi 200 you look at, no matter what its age, should jump out at you as ready to do the work. Tired 200’s are neglected 200’s and you don’t want any part of that. History is a must, full, and always main dealer for turbos and Quattros. That is why finding an Audi 200 can be tough, you must exercise restraint, regardless of price, caffeine withdrawal or incessantly drizzly weather.

We can’t even find a good Audi 200 on eBay. We did source a tax disc holder instead, but it is chrome and really rather vulgar. Sorry about that.

We cannot really claim to love the Audi 200 estate, we merely feel that it is under-appreciated and just a little bit sad. Very similar in fact to Timothy Dalton, who (badly) drove a rented Audi 200 in the film The Living Daylights. Tim D was not the worst Bond, nor did he drive the worst car, but – as with the 200 estate – he just wasn’t needed enough.

[story by Chris Laverty]