Oh Ronan, why did you do it? We always thought you were the sort of chap who’d buy us a packet of peanuts when our change was low and tell us how to perfectly parallel park.

There didn’t seem to be an ounce of wrongess in your blood. You didn’t star in Coronation Street like Keith Duffy or anger Daily Mail journalists by dying at a tenderly young homosexual age.

Whilst everything seemed fine and rosy, Ronan Keating went and threw it all away. His wife couldn’t satisfy his needs, so he sought solace in one of his backing dancers. The papers were shocked, his wife got upset and we were relieved that an Irish musician apart from Bono could get some press. A marital breakup is always tough and thankfully it appears that Ronan and his wife Yvonne have patched their differences up. Not through intense therapy, but a trip to the zoo to see shivering camels and emotionless lions!

This year has seen many high profile couples finding out via the ever-intruding world of the media that their partners not only love them, but random models or girls in nightclubs. Spare a thought and a sad piano ballad for Cheryl Cole, Charlotte Church and Elin Nordegren who have fallen out of love with their other halves. So far, there are no reports of bra burning or head shaving.

Listening to old Ronan Keating songs on our old dusty 78RPM records, it seems that the Boyzone frontman had predicted his own extra marital-cock dipping antics. Just look at these incriminating words that you probably sang along to:

“We found love, oh,
So don’t fight it,
Life is a Rollercoaster,
Just gotta ride it,
I need you, ooh,
So stop hiding,
Our love is a mystery,
Girl, let’s get inside it.”

In a nutshell, Ronan Keating is telling his wife that he wants to ride her up and down like The Big Dipper in Blackpool. However, once the attraction is over, he wants something to try something more dangerous and interesting, i.e. a young, blonde tart. Of course any normal person would be devastated by the news of their partner doing the dirty with someone else – that goes for the laundry and cheating.

But will they stay together due to being childhood sweethearts? For the children? Or because love really does conquer all enough to pave the way for a Ronan Keating concept album on the subject of shagging around? Would money, fast cars and endless performances of Boyzone songs sway her opinion? Let’s hope not. In what definitely doesn’t seem a pre-arranged photo opportunity, the besotted couple can be soon clenching hands and awkwardly smiling at the local zoo. A helpful onlooker commented:

“They weren’t exactly laughing and joking but the signs were that things are getting better. They looked like a happy family.”

This marital breakthrough has got us choking back the tears. It’s a glimmer of hope that Ashley Cole will impress his next one night stand through charm and wit, not projectile vomiting skills.

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