Ronan Keating A Drug-Crazed Madman (Kind Of)
Then buzz it up
June 7th, 2006 at 15:30 by C J Davies
Boyband muppet Ronan Keating has apparently taken a sledgehammer to his clean-cut reputation.
The singer - whom it was previously thought remained a virgin until marriage, never swore, burped or farted and is best mates with Jesus - has admitting to 'experimenting' with drugs.
'Experimenting', eh, Ronie-boy? By golly, that sounds ominous. hecklerspray can't help but wonder what he did - snorted eighteen lines of coke while at the wheel of a high-powered sports car, maybe, the back trunk rattling with empty bottles of beer as he sped through the glittering streets of Las Vegas?
Something like that?
Well?
Let's find out. Ronan Keating's heartbreaking drug hell confessional begins:
"We went to Holland, as everyone does."
Ah. Amsterdam. Okay… so our Las Vegas idea was a little out. What did Ronan do then? Inject copious syringefuls of heroin into both eyeballs while having a vigorous, Absinthe-drenched dogging session with a transsexual prostitute?
Something like that?
Well?
Ronan Keating goes on:
"I think people would be shocked if they heard Ronan Keating took drugs… between you and me, I've tried it."
Tried what, Ronan? Crack? Smack? Something equally potent ending in 'ack'? What?
Hang on… surely he isn't talking about… he doesn't actually mean…
Marijuana.
That's it? Moses On Toast, Ronan… that's not a drug. That's just, well, marijuana. The stuff that approximately 75 percent of our readers probably smoke on a regular basis (we know what you're like, you cheeky 18-35 year olds).
Don't get us wrong, though… hecklerspray would certainly never advocate smoking dope. And we would certainly, certainly never advocate doing so while watching a muted DVD of The Blue Planet with Love's Forever Changes album playing on your stereo. And we would certainly, certainly, certainly never suggest that this is, like, the most amazing fucking psychedelic experience you'll ever have. Man.
That would be plain irresponsible.
Read More:
I Smoked Marijuana, Admits Keating - Breaking News
[story by Stuart Heritage]
