Rolling Stones Quit

Today it was revealed that The Rolling Stones are finally expected to quit after one last huge tour.

The group, who now have a combined age of 242, are likely to bow out after a huge jaunt that will last more than a year. That’s a lot of meals on wheels!

The Stones - whose backstage riders now include werther’s originals, incontinence pants and stannah stairlifts to get them to the stage - played their first concert 43 years ago, to cavemen and woolly mammoths next to a tar pit in what is now Regent’s Park.

Everyone assumed that their Forty Licks tour three years ago would be their last. But then they probably heard that piss-poor remix of Sympathy For The Devil that Pharrell did, and they decided they’d rather carry on than have that as a final chapter.

Back when they started, they didn’t have modern instruments as such. Instead, Charlie Watts hit a variety of different-sized dinosaur eggs, Keith Richards strung some gut between a sabre-toothed tiger’s ribcage and used that as a rudimentary guitar, and Mick Jagger shouted into a glacier to amplify his voice.

Things changed over the years. The Rolling Stones would become famous for their extravagent stageshows. Over the years, they have used explosions, 60-foot inflatable women, giant fire-breathing snakes and, um, a big bridge to convey their music to the masses.

What will they have in store for their last journey around the world together? They’re staying tight-lipped about details, apart from the obligatory "biggest and best" statements.

However, we should add that each of the last few Stones tours have been predicted as their last. So expect them to go on and on and on until there’s just a bunch of skeletons on wires jerking around on a stage.

This tour starts in Boston in August, and they will be the first band to play in the new Wembley Stadium next year.

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[story by Stuart Heritage]