Rod Stewart’s Camilla Parker Bowles Fetish Worse Than Ever

That Rod Stewart, eh? What a lad.

Okay, okay, so we'll forget about the fact that his musical output has widely been regarded as a joke for the best part of 30 years. And that he shrugged off recent questions about his rockstar Carbon Footprint with the less-than-progressive attitude of "well … I've got to travel, haven't I?" Oh - and the fact that his fans are invariably middle-aged women called Sharon who still believe - in their heart of hearts - that their favourite blonde crooner will one day sweep them off their feet (and away from a lifetime of Kwik-Save deputy management).

We'll ignore all that. Because - eh? eh? - what a lad!

What a blokey man's man, eh? Good old Rod Stewart - pulling those tasty page 3 stunners left, right and centre! Why, he's such a bloody Alpha-chap that we're surprised Lynx haven't optioned him for their next commercial: one where Rod stands on a beach, swamped by underwear models, forced to defend himself from the amorous hordes by battering away at women like Ike Turner on a Red Bull binge.

In short: Rod Stewart - what a lad, eh? Eh? EH?

So - who's next in line for Roddy-boy's attention, then? Phwoar - hecklerspray can only imagine the leggy lovely he's giving the eye to! Let's hear him describe her:

"She always looks glamorous to me. For the first time in my life I was really nervous."

Who is he referring to? None other than pointless Royal bride-figure Camilla Parker Bowles, wife of hoop-scooping Prince Charles and already a long-standing fixture in Rod Stewart's Disgusting Hay-Based Sex Fantasy Hall Of Fame.

Phew! Tell you what, Rod. If she floats your boat, then you'll presumably go ga-ga for her exact double.

And if you're too preoccupied to make any more records, then that's fine with us.

Honest. 

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