Rod Stewart – a man whose cover version of Primal Scream’s Rocks managed the astonishing feat of being even worse than the original – has finally decided to hang up his pub-rocking boots once and for all.
According to that bird he’s knocked up, anyway.
Penny Lancaster – a made-to-order blonde Rod Stewart (CDs) special who has recently found herself neatly up the duff – revealed the news in an interview with Now magazine.
“Rod’s at the point where performing is not the be-all and end-all. He wants to focus on having a family because he didn’t have the chance to do that before. He’s really turned a corner. That’s what I’ve always wanted – to be with the man I love and to have our child. Nothing else could make me this happy.”
Whether the mulleted mediocrity maestro will actually stick to this agenda is anyone’s guess. Although – once the little sprog has actually entered the world – surely the authorities should be informed anyway. God forbid Daddy Rod should try singing it a lullaby.
An impromptu performance of Maggie May is tantamount to child abuse, surely?
[story by C J Davies]