Rod Stewart – a man whose cover version of Primal Scream’s Rocks managed the astonishing feat of being even worse than the original – has finally decided to hang up his pub-rocking boots once and for all.
According to that bird he’s knocked up, anyway.
Penny Lancaster – a made-to-order blonde Rod Stewart (CDs) special who has recently found herself neatly up the duff – revealed the news in an interview with Now magazine.
“Rod’s at the point where performing is not the be-all and end-all. He wants to focus on having a family because he didn’t have the chance to do that before. He’s really turned a corner. That’s what I’ve always wanted – to be with the man I love and to have our child. Nothing else could make me this happy.”
Whether the mulleted mediocrity maestro will actually stick to this agenda is anyone’s guess. Although – once the little sprog has actually entered the world – surely the authorities should be informed anyway. God forbid Daddy Rod should try singing it a lullaby.
An impromptu performance of Maggie May is tantamount to child abuse, surely?
Read More:
Rod Stewart To Quit Music- Gigwise
[story by C J Davies]
BENNY says
do you now anything thats more
wrong??????????????????????!!!!!!!
ROD STEWART IS THE BEST
PREFORMER-SINGER AND HE WILL
BE ON THE AIR FOREVERYOUNG!!!!!!!!!
Jan says
Good god I feel sorry for you. You obviously have something wrong with your hearing. Not only is Rod Stewart the best vocally but is the sexiest. I would challenge anyone to go to one of his shows. Not only is the vocals brilliant but he is very much a showman and also the crowd are just amazing. The atmosphere is just out of this world!!!!!!!
Chris says
Hhahahahaha. If Penny thinks she can get Rod to retire, she’s just as stupid as the rest of the mothers of his kids. World, breathe a sigh of relief that Rod WON’T retire.
Lou says
Obviously you have never seen Rod live. He has got more energy than any of these youngsters and from the first minute of his performance the crowd are on their feet.I very much doubt that Rod will retire although he has said he is taking a year off when the baby is born. I for one hope that he does not!!!!
Julie says
Never read so much crap in my life. The writer of this rubbish needs to get a life. Rod Stewart is by FAR the greatest singer/songwriter this country has ever produced. He has out lasted everyone and will continue to do so. His shows are amazing 2 1/2 hours of pure class what a showman.. what an entertainer. He still loves it. We still love it and long will he continue.
hecklerspray says
See the thing is Julie, you have as much bias as the writer. Opinions are what makes the world go around, right? Some of us at this end have a sneaky dance to Cindy Incidentally once in a while. Others Young Turks. And some haven’t forgiven him for butchering a fine Tom Waits song.
The world a-spinneth.
Anna says
Total idiot writer…hasn’t a clue when it comes to talent! Lick my feet you scumbag!!
marce says
Well, the only thing I have to say is that Rod Stewart has been around for forever and can still pack ’em in. Surely all of us who enjoy his music can’t be so wrong about his talent. He has stood the test of time. Also let’s not forget that music has made him a multimillionaire. Somebody out there’s buying his stuff.
JG says
Rod is the best covers artist ever to have walked the planet. His versions of so many great songs are the definative ones – and that includes obscure Tom Waits songs and half a dozen by Dylan. He has the greatest white voice in music and always manages to bring out melody where none is apparent in the original. Most of those who bang on about Rod mudering Tom Waites have probably never even heard the Waites originals!
As for Rod killing Rocks – where are you coming from? Rocks is a natural Rod/Faces song and Rod delivered the definative rock ‘n’ roll version as he has also done with songs by artists such as the Stones (Street Fighting Man), Tom Waits (Hang On St Christopher), Oasis (Cigs & Alcohol), Bob Dylan (Only A Hobo) and tons of others.
Oh yes, and he pionered Heavy Metal (check out 1968’s Truth)and was almost entirely responsible for the emergence of Punk. And what a surprise, in this months Record Collector John Lydon admits to liking Rod “very much” when he went solo and when he was in the Faces.
It’s a shame about the myths spread by the jealous and the ignorant. And the Punk fans who had no idea where the bands they were following got their inspiration from.
GRC says
JG, i’m pretty sure the staff at Hecklerspray have heard the Tom Waits originals and, being discerning music lovers, can see that Tom Waits put more into that song than Rod ever could.
The Faces were great but Rod’s best years are behind him, just like the Stones – the difference being that the Stones’ best years are streets ahead of Rod’s. He’s only been good for golden-oldie nostalgia shows for the past 25 years.
The best singer-songwriter this country has ever produced? Tell me you’re joking Julie..
tony the greek says
Rod Stewart? Best singer songwriter? What about Snoop Dee-Oh-Double-Gee? Talk about weird science.
Keith Hensey says
Well said JG – a breath of fresh air! Meanwhile, GRC writes with the confidence of someone who knows neither Rod, the Stones or Tom Waites. I was brought up beliving that the originals are always the best. How wrong I was.
Listening to Rod’s first few albums is a real revelation and also a confusing one as almost without fail he improves on the originals vastly. His strength is bringing obscure songs to the masses. Waites and Dylan are brilliant writers but Rod is better at singing their songs.
As for the Rolling (we tour every five years) Stones being “streets ahead”. That is utter and complete nonsense as anyone who has seen both acts in the past 20 years knows. Go away and listen to Every Picture Tells a Story and tell me the Stones have ever laid down a better track, because THEY HAVE NOT.
That said, Rod’s standards albums stink – what a waste of talent. In his time, Rod was indeed one of the best writers to come out of the UK. Maybe even the British Bob Dylan.
“Discerning music lovers” is not what I think of when I read the pathetic and un-called for rant against RS. More like “biased and ignorant music lovers”.
Alison Graham says
After more than 30 years Rod remains at the top of his game. The Voice, bettered by no one, is as good as ever… a massive sell out tour this year…the number one selling UK artist in the US this year. He still has an army of faithful fans and attracts new audiences all the time. His live shows are two and a half hours of pure class. A supreme talent and the supreme performer. Heckler your comments are just laughable.
Ali
Steampacket says
You young punks ought to wash your fucking ears out. The Faces were and still are the greatest, most influential, Kick arse rock and roll outfit ever to take a breath on this entire planet. Rod may be past his best but that’s still a fucking lenght better than the mass formulated sampled brainless, rehashed, image and music stealing shit that pollutes the airwaves nowadays. Oh I forgot you are so out of your mashed micro brains on substances that keep the third world poor that you ain’t fucking noticed. It’s mindless scum like whoever posted that shit that contribute to the wretched fucking state that we are all in. Stick that in your fucking pipes and smoke it.
Steamy.
hecklerspray says
Steamy – the last thing we’d recommend that you did was listen to the airwaves. But isn’t Rod just another cover artist? Essentially that’s what Blue did. And Westlife. And Atomic Kitten. Or have we got this one badly wrong?
GRC says
Hensey, I have every album Tom Waits has ever realeased, all the Stones’ until Exile, and even some Faces/Stewart albums. I have listened to ‘Every Picture..’ and sorry, it’s nowhere near as good as ‘Let It Bleed’ or ‘Exile On Main Street’ The Faces, enjoyable though they were, were a poor man’s Rolling Stones.
As for British Bob Dylan, you must be joking. He only writes 2 or 3 somgs on each album and needs covers to fill them up.
As for ‘steampacket’ – what the fuck??
JG says
Hecklerspray – in response to your Blue, Westlife, Atomic, comparison. You couldn’t have got it more completely wrong. Rod has written some 200 songs, but his versions of other writers material are just as important as his original stuff.
Rod is a massive music fan, the fact that he has covered so many songs points even more to this fact. When he covers a song he treats it with tender loving care, taking the original apart and ofering something completely different to the original and in many many case far superior. He is a massive Dylan and Waites fan – Nick Hornby chooses Rod’s version of a Dylan song in his book of best ever songs.
Rod turned covering the likes of Dylan into an art form and the music on his first 4 albums is so brilliant that they truly deserve investigation if you’ve any interest in real music. They are simply amazing and take you in numerous musical directions.
The useless pop covers “bands” you mention could not be further away from Rod if they tried. The comparison is quite simply ludicrous.
GRC – the fact that some of Rod’s great early albums only contained 3 original songs is irrelevant. Some of the songs he has written are so good they are worth entire albums of Waites / Dylan / Jagger-Richards.
Steamy – a blinding post mate.
GRC says
JG, we’ll never agree on this one. I’m not saying that Rod Stewart is completely worthless – I’d rather listen to him than Blue etc. I just don’t think he deserves mention in the same breath, especially in songwriting terms, as Dylan, Waits or The Stones. I suspect that Rod himself would admit that. After all, why would he cover their songs if he thought he could write better himself?
Jane C says
mulleted mediocrity maestro!!!! Do you even know what a mullet looks like you twat? Obviously your taste in music sucks. ROD ROCKS and will be around longer than the crap you listen to! \^^/
You young punks ought to wash your fucking ears out. Take Steampackets advice and TRY IT!!!
steampacket says
Why shouldn’t he be mentioned in the same breath as the artists you mention. I think he more than stands up against any of these artist. You cannot honestly compare the Stones with Dylan can you or the Stones with Rod Stewart. They are not at all comparable. What are you comparing their fucking hairstyles, you may as well be. It’s bloody rubbish that you’re spouting. I really wish that people would get their fucking brains in gear before the mouth is switched on. If you are going to be critical of something you know nothing about…Zip it up mate.
Steamy.
Dave J says
I first saw Rod in 1974 with the Faces and over the years he’s got better and better. He can turn his voice to anything and what a voice. I have a daughter 19 and she and her friends are all hooked on him. At the end of the day if you look at sell out tours and record sales it says it all.
Honey Lynch says
Hi,
I don’t think that Rod will retire. He may slow down a bit, take fewer health risks (at his age -lol) but give the guy a break. Look how many songs he has written and recorded. It’s two lifetimes’ worth. Amazingly he has just gotten better and better vocally. He probably wouldn’t give it up if he had another number 1 so just get 70,000 people to each buy SB IV and enjoy what he is offering you. Like your Mum told you to do at the hosts’ house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
See Ya
Dred says
Why don’t you do some research before you open your pie holes? Rod has broken records for simultaneous top singles in europe and the USA, has kept and built his fan base for 30+ yrs.,gives his very soul at every concert, bedded some of the most beautful women in the world (AND, they still associate with him), loves his fans and his family,has impeccable taste in fine the fine arts and poetry, drives the hottest cars, gives to charities without seeking notice.What the fuck’s wrong with you? You jealous because you’ll never achieve such
notoriety or fame?
Don’t muss with Rod fans, fool!
aaargh says
Rod fans… of course you are going to be protecting the great one. What do you think of Britney? She’s sold more records than Rod in recent years. Does that mean she has mounds of artistic talent?
The man has a voice that you either love or hate. Sure he has bedded many blondes so extra points there. But that has nowt to do with whether he is any good or not.
Baby Jane is a ripper. But so is Oops I Did It Again. DO you Rod fans like Britney too because she’ll be going strong in 30 years too.
Peace and love from Canada.
Marcy says
Not sure what all this fuss is about. Neither Rod or Penny were quoted as saying that he was going to retire. Penny simply said that Rod is very much into having this baby and being a father to the child more so than he had in the past. Rod Stewart won’t retire as long as he has air in his lungs. And even after that…his music will live on!
GRC says
Why do you all assume that because someone slags Rod off, they must be into commercial crap?
WENDY says
OH MY GOD,I TAKE IT THAT YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN TO A ROD CONCERT IN YOUR LIFE,FOR A MAN OF HIS AGE TO BE BOUNDING ABOUT ON STAGE LIKE HE DOES FOR ALMOST 3 HOURS TO SELL OUT CROWDS.FOR THE MOST OF THE YEAR I WOULD LIKE TO SEE ANY OTHER ARTIST OUT THERE DO THAT.THE GUY CAN REALLY ENTERTAIN.YOU ARE CLEARLY MESSING WITH THE WRONG FANS MATEY.
BY THE WAY ARENT U THINKING OF CLIFF BY ANY CHANCE !!!!!!!!
ROD WILL KEEP SINGING AND PERFORMING UNTIL HE TAKES HIS LAST BREATHE. SO LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE.
phadreas says
Howdy. True story: my Mum took me too see Rod Stewart when I was a young teenager. He blew me away. That was back in the mid 70s. Then, when I grew up a bit he was doing really naff songs with bad synth and worse pants. That blew my mind too.
How could our hero do this to us? Get a grip: Rod was the man in the 60s and 70s but his retirement is way overdue. Listen to the vinyl, but don’t buy the CDs.
scottie girl says
Everyone’s entitled to their opinion, and I’m glad there are some deaf, non-appreciative, stupid people out there, who DON’T like Rod’s music, ‘cos it’s hard enough, as a fan since 1970, to get decent tickets for Rod’s shows – – – – – (except THIS tour, thanx Smiler!!!)
Lesley
Y Paige says
Rod is sixty Yes
He can also sing.. Hold a crowd of as any people as can fit in a concert and more besides.
He’s raking it in Why should he retire…. Would You ?
Give it a rest while there are Rod fans there will always be a sell out concert when he sings no matter how old he gets.
And God willing hes got a few decades yet.
Dom Murphy says
On behalf of my fellow Rod mates I have never read so much garbage posted by you. ROD STEWART is the greatest bloody singer these shores has ever produced . He has sung /covered every style of music, stays in touch with his fans by touring reguarlyand has voice from heaven.The man has sold 150 m albums for christ’s sake you arseholes!!! READ STEAMY on the FACES the greatest ROCk N ROLL BAND of all time!!!
Rod and you lot … You dont even deserve to be mentioned in the same breath with the great performer . The critics the cynics who never understood where are they now?
GRC says
Dolly Parton has sold more albums – does that mean she’s better then Rod?
WENDY says
WHY ON THIS GODS EARTH SHOULD ROD RETIRE LOOK HIS NEW ALBULM HAS JUST GONE TO NO.2 IN THE STATES AND WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT GET INTO THE TOP 5 IN THE UK.NEXT WEEK WHEN IT COMES OUT,AND EVEN IF IT IS THE OLD STANDARDS SONGS THAT ISNT EVERBODYS TASTE IN MUSIC IT WILL ALMOST SURE GET IN THERE.LIKE EVERYONE AGREES APART FROM THE FEW OF U LOT. ROD WILL NEVER RETIRE AND WITH SELL OUT CONCERTS AND NEW ALBUMS DOING THOUSANDS LIKE THIS I DONT THINK SO MATEY.
Dom Murphy says
GRC
Just remind me when was the last tiem Dolly Parton sang on satge for 3 hours. Apart from her 2 styles of music Country and western as you call in the states when did Dolly cover the blues, rock, disco .reggae etc ? Bonnie Raitt leaves her standing
Back to Rod yes he has done it all mate even country and western ( what made milwaukee famous)and will continue to sing until he is 90 . Somehow Dolly is unlikely to be there to hear him
bigrodfan says
I’ve seen all the ‘biggies’ over the years – Madonna, Springstein, Michael Jackson, Prince, the Stones. For sheer showmanship, Rod leaves them all standing. No props. special effects, fireworks, just two hours of brilliant singing. What makes Rod’s shows so different is the fact that he obviously loves what he does; many of the other big names just put on a show and I always feel that it would be just the same, whatever the audience was like, or even if they went home! Rod responds brilliantly to the audience, he feeds off their support and involvement. That is the main reason he will never retire, he could not live without the adoration. Penny is just the last in a long line of identikit blondes who kidded themselves that a ‘family’ is what he needs to make him stop in at night.
Dream on
Steve says
It is quite clear the writer has never ever attended a Faces or Rod Stewart concert in the past or more recent , despite the advancing years the Guy still get’s em going .
And no these are not all old mis guided 40 or 50 something RS freaks with dodgy spikey hair the man still attracts new people just attend a performance that is if yopu can get a ticket.
Steve
GRC says
Mr Murphy, I am not a Dolly Parton fan, I have no idea how long she sings for – what the fuck does that prove anyway??
I was merely pointing out the fact that, if people are using album sales to justify Rod’s ‘greatness’ then that must mean that Dolly is even better.
Do i have to spell it out?
Can you people fucking READ?