So recently Robert Pattinson has admitted to acting on Valium, plus he’s just filmed a graphic gay sex scene.

But that’s hardly controversial. Sure, all the drugs and gay sex might alienate Robert Pattinson’s tweeny female fans, but not as much as the news that’s just emerged about him – Robert Pattinson wants to record a duet with chinny Will Young.

The implications of this duet are massive – leading particle scientists have declared that, should Robert Pattinson and Will Young ever collaborate on tape, the resulting charisma vacuum would likely tear a hole in the space/time continuum and destroy us all.

You might look at Robert Pattinson and only see a dreary shop mannequin with a facial expression like a toddler trying to work out how to do quantum mechanics and an embarrassingly unfinished haircut, but you’re wrong. There is literally no end to Robert Pattinson’s talents. Literally.

Sure, you might already know that Robert Pattinson is good at playing emotionally-uninhabited vampires, having hair that makes him look like he fell asleep in a car wash, making Courtney Love go a bit mental and generally making hormonally-berserk 14-year-old girls and middle-aged divorcee drama teachers become so giddy that he’s effectively become the spiritual offspring of Nick Kamen, but that’s not all.

No, Robert Pattinson also likes to sing. Fans of Twilight might already know this, because the song on the film’s soundtrack that sounds like James Morrison after a decade of homelessness, hard drug addiction and relentlessly being kicked in the throat by a donkey was actually performed by Robert Pattinson himself.

And, just to show that his musical taste is roughly on a par with his ability to choose scripts based on their quality, Robert Pattinson has apparently declared that he wants to do a duet with wet-mouthed Pop Idol letdown Will Young. Contactmusic reports:

The Twilight star has frequently mentioned his love for music, insisting it is a career backup plan should his film roles dry up. And Pattinson, who sang on the vampire movie’s soundtrack, is keen to move into the pop genre and duet with the Leave Right Now hitmaker. He says, “Will has a great voice and it would blend really well with mine but I bet he has no idea who I am. But you never know.”

We cn’t help wondering which one of Will Young’s songs Robert Pattinson fell in love with – could it have been the insipid soul-lite ballad, or the other insipid soul-lite ballad? Maybe, and we’re really going out on a limb here, it was another insipid soul-lite ballad that we’ve probably heard but think we haven’t because it sounds identical to all of Will Young’s other songs.

Either way, here’s hoping that Will Young reads this and decides to take Robert Pattinson up on his offer of a duet. It could be mutually beneficial to the both of them – Robert Pattinson would gain instant credibility with the record-buying public, or at least the handful of pensionable Radio 2 listeners who don’t find Will Young a terrible bore; and Will Young might be able to convince Robert Pattinson to give him a role in Twilight 2.

After all, it shouldn’t be too hard for a star of Robert’s calibre to get a cameo for The Zombified Corpse Of Jimmy Hill written into the script, should it?

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