Robert De Niro Realises He’s Only Good In Mob Flicks
Then buzz it up
November 16th, 2005 at 13:00 by Stuart Heritage
It’s long been taken as true that Robert De Niro is The World’s Greatest Film Actor. But, in fact, that’s a big lie. Robert De Niro is The World’s Greatest Film Actor But Only In Films About The Mob.
Every time De Niro has tried his hand at anything else, he’s been a little - well - disappointing. So it’s heartening to hear that Robert has signed up to star in The Winter Of Frankie Machine, a movie about - you guessed it - the mob.
Robert De Niro (DVDs) has been in some really good films - Mean Streets,
The Godfather: Part II, The Untouchables, Goodfellas, Casino, Heat -
but he’s been in some awful stinkers, too. Remember The Adventures Of
Rocky And Bullwinkle? Or Showtime? Frankenstein? Ronin? Men Of Honour?
Hide And Seek? All of them sucked more ass than a grumpy
aeroplane toilet.
See the connection? In the first set of films, De Niro played
gangstery, criminally, mob-type roles. And in the second set he didn’t.
It’s simple - when he plays a mob role, he is good. When he doesn’t, he isn’t.*
And don’t forget that Robert De Niro was the producer of the Ben
Elton/Queen musical abomination We Will Rock You. Truly, that is
unforgivable.
So at this point in time, Robert De Niro faces something of a quandary. Does he go on the rest of his life flushing his career down the toilet
stretching himself as an actor by taking on a variety of roles, or does
he go back back on his word never to star in a mob film again in order
to remind the world what a good actor he is?
Duh. He’s signed up for a mob film. Didn’t you read the beginning of
the article? Robert De Niro has put his name down to star in The Winter
Of Frankie Machine, an adaptation of an as-yet-unpublished Don Winslow
novel. In Frankie Machine, De Niro will play an ex-mob hitman who has
retired for a quiet life as the owner of a bait shop. De Niro’s
character will get pulled back into his old business when he discovers
that he has been targeted for a hit.
Robert De Niro is also set to produce The Winter Of Frankie Machine,
although no scriptwriter is yet attached to the project. It’s also
unclear what sort of machine De Niro is set to play. A toaster, maybe.
Or a lathe.
*Yes, we know he also played a mob boss in Analyse This. And - yes - we know that was a crappy film. Keep quiet, you.
Read more:
De Niro Can’t Escape The Mob - Cinematical
[story by Stuart Heritage]
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November 16th, 2005 at 2:19 pm
Maybe you’ve never seen movies like Awakenings, This Boy’s Life, Cape Fear, and Taxi Driver. That’s fine, many other people haven’t seen those movies, either. But, don’t confuse box office success with De Niro’s acting genius.
November 16th, 2005 at 4:24 pm
Correct me if i’m wrong, but Mean Streets was exactly a box office success so how does that fit in with your criticism?
You’ve also forgotten King Of Comedy and The Deer Hunter..
November 16th, 2005 at 5:14 pm
How about Raging Bull, Midnight Run, Mad Dog & Glory, KING OF COMEDY! No doubt he’s also made some stinkers but that’s down to bad choices, not lack of range.
November 17th, 2005 at 6:55 am
Your article is a joke, it seems to me that you haven’t done your homework properly, shame on you and your kinds…
November 17th, 2005 at 12:42 pm
Ben, read this sentence:
“*Yes, we know he also played a mob boss in Analyse This. And - yes - we know that was a crappy film. Keep quiet, you.”
Does that not give you the impression that the writer of the article doesn’t take himself entirely seriously?
So, yes Ben, the article is a joke.
November 28th, 2005 at 4:28 am
Stuart …pleeese …
Are you crazy? De Niro is incredible in ‘This Boy’s Life,’ ‘Deer Hunter,’ ‘Taxi,’ ‘Midnight Run,’ ‘Raging Bull’ and ‘Cape Fear.’
‘Meet the Fockers’ wasn’t great, and neither was the ‘Analyze’ duo. That wasn’t his fault. He did the best he could with lousy scripts.
His mob roles are some of my least favorite. I’m still trying to figure out why he nabbed an Oscar for ‘Godfather II’ in which he only had a brief appearance and almost no lines.
March 10th, 2006 at 8:46 pm
Robert DE Niro is a very briliant man with a good brain to know what is goog and what is bad.
I would say that he is doing anything he puts his mind to, and do not try to say that he is in bad films, he is a nice, guiet, funuy, humble, and a good hearted human being of what he can do for his dream is to make films that does not has to be hard all the time.
Because, in some of his movies, he worked extremely hard, and the others that you think mayby not good, he seems to me that he needs to push the hard work away for awhile. I do not blame the work he his done, he still an extrodinary talened man. period.