Rob Zombie Defends Pointless Halloween Remake
Then buzz it up
May 29th, 2007 at 14:00 by C J Davies
Here's a question for you: how do you tarnish the legacy of a slightly-overrated 70s slasher flick that spawned about a million dismal sequels?
hecklerspray knows the answer - you hand over the directorial reigns to a 42-year-old man who still thinks plastering yourself in tattoos and pretending to be best mates with the devil is, like, totally awesome. Step forward, then, Rob Zombie - a 'musician' and 'film-maker' whose last two projects - House Of 1000 Corpses and The Devils Rejects - were roughly about as entertaining and thought-provoking as lapping at a chemical toilet.
For those who don't know (and according to the ever-reliable Wikipedia) Rob Zombie is a cultural icon whose 'dreadlocks, gruff vocal style and fascination with horror movies have helped him become a distinctive element in American heavy metal.' In other words - he's the sort of none-too-subtle lunkhead adored by dim middle class teenagers during their 'difficult phase.'
Yeah - fuck you dad! I won't do my homework!
Anyway. Zombie has got his hands on Halloween - the story of naughty little suburban serial killer Michael Myers. Fans and critics, however, are a little bit sceptical that his remake won't quite match the standards of the original John Carpenter version.
Zombie has tried his best to put these worries to bed:
"The characters had been beaten to death over the last thirty years of sequels, so I thought the only way to do it was to start fresh. I really loved the original Halloween so my thought was to try and go about it as a completely different movie. I didn't want it to look or feel like (writer/director) John Carpenter's (original) movie because that would be pointless. The only reason I said yes was because I thought I came up with a way to do it. I didn't just do it to do it. I've taken away all the supernatural elements of Michael Myers."
All of which fails to placate hecklerspray completely. Still - at least things aren't a total disaster. They could have given the job to emotionally-stunted halfwit Eli Roth, who no doubt would have made all the victims attractive young women, thus giving him the ability to scream "Yeah! Die, bitch! That's for all the cheerleaders who wouldn't go out with me at school!" Just think: they could even have got similarly misogynist manchild Quentin Tarantino in on production duties.
Which would raise the question: could it have been any worse than Grindhouse?
Jesus wept.
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May 29th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
[...] From C J Davies hecklerspray.com: Here’s a question for you: how do you tarnish the legacy of a slightly-overrated 70s slasher flick that spawned about a million dismal sequels? hecklerspray knows the answer - you hand over the directorial reigns to a 42-year-old man who still thinks plastering yourself in tattoos and pretending to be best mates with the devil is, like, totally awesome. [...]
May 30th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
youre a loser, get a REAL job buddy.
-P. H. A.
May 30th, 2007 at 9:57 pm
Oh whatever.
just because you dropped out of highschool, and made THIS your job, doesnt give you the right to rag on people
like Rob Zombie.
Middle Class? Im far beyond Middle class, aswell as dim - witted , you LUNK head! LOL
You didnt like his other 2 movies, well thats what art is all about, you love it, or hate it…. BUT thought provoking?
hummmm horror movies are not really based around that…..
Halloween Overrated? you know nothing about movies.
youre just a pissy mate because rob was a quit kid, that had A’s and B’s in school, you know the type…
Outside, comic geek, Metal head, horror nerd…. but a smart kid, moved to new york (the toughest place too live) at 18~!!!! went and made a name for himself… on the other hand….. you have someone like you doing a 9 - 5 job… LOL But youre right, seeing how you live from a place where its ok by LAW to make love to animals….
like the other guy… youre a loser!
June 28th, 2007 at 2:19 am
Why dont you get a job instead of trying to come across like you are someone important and whose words will actually mean anything to anyone else besides yourself?
Halloween is one of, if not THE, greatest horror movies ever made. You quote Rob but seem to have mis-matched his words aswell.
Try finding out about the actual genre before you start trying to write meaningless garbage.
What is the point of this pointless review?
July 10th, 2007 at 11:23 am
fuck rob zombie biggest unoringal hack in hollywood
August 17th, 2007 at 10:13 am
Any credibility you may have had was completely destroyed after you typed the word “overrated.”
August 31st, 2007 at 7:05 pm
I LOVE ROB ZOMBIE, I LOVE ROB ZOMBIE I LOVE ROB ZOMBIE
February 8th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
C J Davies,
I came up with a long and drawn out ramble to comment on your horrible article and then decided to scrap it and just say your a TOOL!
February 9th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
If CJ was a tool, he’d be a screwdriver.