Remember a couple of years ago when I wrote a blog making fun of the new ‘Riverdale’, saying that it sounded like a shitty teen drama version of ‘Twin Peaks’? Lololol, if only I had known just how invested I was going to get in this fucking show, but here we are!
However, I don’t feel bad about my ‘Riverdale’ love, because you know who else loves ‘Riverdale’? Literally everyone. Including teens, who gave the show basically every single award possible at last night’s Teen Choice Awards.
You’ll all be shocked to find out that I don’t watch the Teen Choice Awards anymore, but I legit don’t. The last time I watched it Miley Cyrus sang “Party in the USA” on an ice cream bike, so it’s been a while. But given that following up on celebrity shit is one of my jobs, I clearly check in to see who the teens think are hot. And man oh man, ‘Riverdale’ is to 2018 what ‘The OC’ was to 2004 and ‘Beverly Hills 90210’ was to 1992 (for the record, I rate ‘Riverdale’ above ‘The OC’, but below ‘Beverly Hills 90210’).
‘Riverdale’ won Choice TV Drama, Choice Actress for Lili Reinhart as Betty, Choice Actor for Cole Sprouse as Jughead (let’s be real, it might be “Archie’s” show, but he only became remotely redeeming in season two), Choice TV Villian for Mark Consuelos as Mr. Lodge, Choice Breakout Star for Vanessa Morgan as Toni, Choice TVShip for Betty and Jughead (DUH), AND Choice Male Hottie for Cole Sprouse. That’s right, one of the kids from ‘Suite Life on Deck’ grew up to be a choice hottie, and I don’t even disagree with it!
‘Riverdale’ is like my weird guilty pleasure that I feel no guilt or shame for loving. That’s the thing about sexy teen dramas: I get older, but they stay the same.