Rihanna’s Engaged And If You Say Anything About it Chris Brown Will Punch You


Look carefully at this picture. It’s the end of society. And no, not in the way you think. Yes, it does look like some sort of creep alien overlord with a claw that could rip your eyes out has taken over the world and is about to put us into bondage and slavery but actually it’s the hand of Rihanna, taken last night at the Grammy awards.

So what, you might be saying? It’s a hand. But look closer.

There’s a ring. And it’s on her wedding finger. Cue media and Twitter explosion.

That’s right, there is a strong assumption that Rihanna and Chris Brown are now engaged. I don’t know how you feel about that, but I’m willing to bet it’s somewhere between violent disgust and complete apathy. See, Rihanna and Chris Brown have previous.

And what a previous it is. Brown’s alleged to have attacked the Barbados-born singer leaving her battered and bruised. The outcry was enormous when it happened, and it hasn’t really ever died down. Which is why people were concerned and – yet again – outraged when it seemed like Rihanna and Brown were getting back together of late, with photographs appearing online of them in each others’ arms. Even this woman behind them disapproves:

Rihanna and Chris Brown

Rihanna has said publicly on her Twitter feed that she couldn’t care less what people think, but it still leaves people wondering quite why she’s sticking around with this guy for another round (possibly literally).

The simple diamond ring on her left ring finger makes people more puzzled. It seems like they’ve taken up the relationship a notch. But good for them, if you want. I’m not going to say a bad word about them, simply because I’m afraid if I do that Chris Brown might hit me. It is funny though that there is basically not a single person more hated in all celebritydom than him.

And if you thought Chris Brown couldn’t get any more terrible, how about this: last night at the Grammys Frank Ocean won an award, and everyone in the audience stood up. Or so you’d have thought. BuzzFeed pointed out that actually, everyone but one person stood for Ocean. Guess who that one person was.

Chris Brown and Frank Ocean

At this point in time, it does feel a little bit like Chris Brown’s sole purpose in life is to troll the fuck out of everyone. There’s just no other reason for him to act so douchey. No-one is that bad. Maybe all this is an act. Maybe it’s a sham engagement. One can hope.


  1. MaryJanice Davidson says

    He’s a repellant thug and Rihanna has, incomprehensively, buckled herself in for Round 2.