After a solid week of burning my ass off in the Dominican and riding on boats while singing “I’m on a boat” (#thingswhitepeoplelike), I’m back, and boy did I miss a lot. However, one thing that would be impossible for me to miss is the fact that, when it comes to being topless, Rihanna gives full on no fucks anymore.
We all know that Rihanna has had no problem blasting nips before, but she’s never posed full on topless on a magazine cover, however, that’s all changed thanks to the French magazine, “Lui”.
Rihanna gets her scandalous on in the magazine, as you can see. There is another, more exposed topless pic in the magazine, and another pic shows her bent over, leaning forward, legs spread, bare ass in the air. I’m basically going to start taking polls on how long it’s going to be until Rihanna poses for “Hustler” (“Playboy” is too tame for our beloved Riri).
As el scandalous as these pictures will probably be to my Nan (as she would say: “It’s shocking to have on the Facebook!”), I have to say, homegirl looks fiiiiiine. I see her lounging all sexy in the sun like that and it makes me want to take all my bikini pics from my trip this week down off Instagram (@mentallyillest because you know I like to plug myself….which sounds a lot like a new slang term for female masturbation…) because I look like a pasty damn fool compared to Rihanna.
Speaking of Instagram, they actually took down Rihanna’s uncensored pic of her new magazine cover, which is total bullshit, because Kim Kardashian can post 17 ridiculous ass selfies a day and Rihanna can’t even post one demure tit pic? Bitch please. How can you play your #1 user like that?
So while I love that Rihanna gives no fucks and has decided that shame is a thing that no good woman should have, what I really want to know is what Drake’s face looked like when his sensitive ass saw this magazine cover. I imagine he looked not unlike this: