Rihanna Continues Her Blasting Nips World Tour

nips

So the CFDA awards were the other night and Rihanna was there to collect her Fashion Icon award. And, in true Rihanna fashion, she decided to make quite the statement with her outfit. And, as usual, that statement involved her nipples. 

Rihanna loves showing off her nipples more than Miley Cyrus loves sticking out her tongue, so her blasting her nips should really be filed under: Shit that happens on days that end in Y. But Rihanna being Rihanna had to take it to a whole nutha level and wear an outfit that showed just about evvvvvveeerrrrryyytttthhiiing.

Rihanna showed up to the awards ceremony in a dress that was basically just 200,000 Swarovski crystals hanging over her body, leaving very little to the imagination. Not that I’m complaining. I mean, Rihanna is hot as balls and has a banging body, so if she wants to show that shit off, girl you do your thang.

basicallynaked

As sexy as I think she looks, I can’t help but point out that this outfit is basically just a classier version of Rose McGowan’s 1998 MTV Awards dress (yes…this dress is the classier version of something).

scandalous

I mean, if you’re going to be receiving a fashion icon award, at least show up in something original, not a fancy version of the dress Marilyn Manson’s fiancé/the chick who starred in the cult classic (and fucking fantastic) movie, “Jawbreaker” wore to the fucking MTV Awards almost 20 years ago, you know?

Also, just typing the sentence that this dress was worn almost 20 years ago makes me feel really fucking old, because I remember this awards show so vividly. I was 11 and like “Ahhh, what has she got on? Tatum from ‘Scream’ looks so hoochie. And why is she dating that terrible Bea Arthur impersonator?!”

Now, Rihanna’s nipples are on a world tour and I’m all like “Girl, your nipples look good, but get a more original outfit.”

Times have changed.

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