Richard Branson is a slimeball git. His greatest sleight of hand is that he’s passed himself off as some kind of lovable British eccentric who flies balloons and wants to send the wealthy on flights to the moon.
However, in reality, he’s a shitehawk who likes nothing more than ferreting vast sums of money in offshore accounts, so he doesn’t have to pay all that pesky tax.
While you all know about that, what you don’t know is that he’s developed a series of murderous houses… y’know, like that one from The Shining? And the latest victim of his nefarious masonry is Kate Winslet who nearly got burned alive. At least it would’ve put a bit of colour in her tediously pale face.
Kate Winslet and her unsuspecting family were on holiday in the Caribbean vacation and staying at Branson’s mansion. However,? Winslet had to flee, gathering her children up as she ran shrieking in a really posh English voice, as the tycoon’s island home set itself on fire.
Branson confirmed to the press that Kate was staying in the eight-bedroom Great House on Necker, his private isle in the British Virgin Islands.
The hippie piggy bank was staying at another property 100 yards away, stroking a cat like a Bond villain, waiting for his murder house to strike.
He said in a statement:
?Kate Winslet, her boyfriend and her family were there?. and some of her friends were also staying. My mother was there, and they managed to get her out and she is fine.?
He then added:
“Next time Winslet, you won’t be so lucky.”
What a quirky, bearded bastard.
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karen says
Well it didn’t try hard enough did it the work shy, bone idle bastard. If the house had any kind of work ethic the rest of us wouldn’t be facing years of Kate Winslet whining crap about how saggy and horrible her tits are, because god knows it’s a fascinating subject.