Not that this will stop the Star Wars fangeeks from getting all excited by the the forthcoming movie. It seems as if Jar Jar Binks, Darth Maul and the sight of Yoda leaping around like Sonic The Hedgehog have done nothing to dampen their expectations.

In theory, Revenge Of The Sith should be fantastic. Watching a young man have a breakdown, put on a big black fetish costume and explode everything in he universe sounds like a pretty cool way to spend two hours.

But no, George Lucas has called it "Titanic in space" (DVDs). He couldn’t have possibly sold it in a less appealing way. "Flubber in space" (DVDs), "Ocean’s Twelve in space" (DVDs), even "Watchdog Healthcheck in space" would have stirred up more feelings of interest than comparing it to something that made Celine Dion (CDs) number one for all eternity.

There was some kind of geek convention over the last few days. Thousands of agoraphobic loners tore themselves away from their graphic novels to see Lucas discuss his new film.

Ain’t It Cool News has got reports from this convention, including stories of brand new footage. hecklerspray will now give you a brief summary. If you can’t bear to see any secrets revealed, look away now. And get a bleeding life, while you’re at it.

In the new movie…

Yoda’s pupils dilate at one point!!

Anakin shuts a door with his mind!!

Palpatine and Yoda throw a chair at each other!!

And, you know, space battles and lightsabre fights and whatnot.

It all sounds very non-conclusive. So who knows? There’s a strong chance that Revenge Of The Sith will be a blazing return to form, and a fitting send off to the beleaguered franchise.

Oh, who are we kidding? It’s going to be a lot of sweaty old arse.

[story by Stuart Heritage]