As a drab-faced woman whose only job is to go and play music at sweaty bellends for two hours at a time, Samantha Ronson knows about graft.
We know this because we once attended Samantha Ronson’s productivity seminar Shut Up Coal Miners: I Work Much Harder Than Any Of You Idiots. True, we only went because we heard Lindsay Lohan was going to be there, but that’s beside the point.
Anyway, Samantha Ronson works so hard that she recently went to hospital for exhaustion. Apparently she went straight to the Overdramatic Tosspot clinic, where she was diagnosed by a Dr Getarealjob. True story.
If you want to know why Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson go so well together, you just have to look at a list of their common interests. They’re both lesbians, for example, which helps. And they both love to blog about what a horrible dickwad Lindsay Lohan’s dad is. But more than that, both Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson know the value of hard labour.
Just look at Lindsay Lohan. That woman works so hard that she gets hospitalised for exhaustion all the time. Like when she got dehydrated and collapsed on that film set because she was just working too bloody hard? That was an awful, perfectly legitimate, moment in Lindsay Lohan’s life, and the main contributing factor for Lindsay Lohan not making many films any more. It isn’t that she’s box office poison and has one of the worst reputations in Hollywood. It’s because she gets exhausted.
And now that goes for Samantha Ronson as well. Her DJing career has really taken off now that nightclubs have realised that Lindsay Lohan will definitely turn up as well if they booked her. We don’t why that it is. Maybe she’s just a really good DJ.
But anyway, because she’s so in-demand lately, Samantha Ronson’s life has turned into an endless orgy of travel and work. And, seriously, if you think you know what exhaustion is, you should try getting paid thousands of dollars to stand in a roped-off section of a grotty nightclub playing records with a bored look on your face for a couple of hours at a time. That’s work.
And it’s why Samantha Ronson was recently hospitalised for exhaustion. But don’t worry, because she’s fine again now, as the New York Daily News reports:
“I’m home and all good,” Ronson, 31, said in a MySpace Celebrity blog post on Monday after being released from?a Los Angeles?hospital. LiLo’s gal pal visited Cedars-Sinai Medical Center Sunday afternoon, mere hours after spinning tunes at Hollywood’s Ecco Ultra Lounge alongside her girlfriend. “Was just pretty exhausted from traveling and working too much,” Ronson said, adding, “my Jewish mother was worried about me.”
Actually, we shouldn’t mock Samantha Ronson – sources are claiming that her exhaustion actually stems from a mixture of depression, lack of food and lack of sleep, which doesn’t sound like a particularly healthy combination. But if Samantha Ronson started eating and sleeping, then she’d quickly lose her trademark look – that of a novelty eraser-tipped pencil shaped like Mickey Pearce from Only Fools And Horses – and that’d be no good either. It’s a catch-22 if ever we saw one.
However, it’s almost Christmas – the perfect time for Samantha Ronson to put her feet up and take it easy. True, she’ll have to wait for scientists to discover a new way to take it easy that exerts even less energy than the thing she does for a living, but she can wait.
guffy says
Stuart your the best
Amanda says
Wow, that was absolutely rude and uncalled for. I can’t believe YOU even have a job with that crap you just wrote. Jealousy over someone who’s making more money than you does kill.
And also, she’s Jewish soooo, it would be Chanukah if you would like to look like you actually did some research on the post.
The Dread Pirate Sausage! says
Hysterical.
I almost gagged on the phone; Bravo!
irish gemini says
That totally made my day Stuart.
laughing myself to tears.
oh laugh a little Amanda.
foox says
I love SAMANTHA RONSON <3 ,who speaks ill of it is a complete moron. a useless person to the point of not realizing how divine it is (y)