Before y’all come at me with “When was Macaulay Culkin ever hot?” let me remind you of the early-2000s when he was dating Mila Kunis, starring in movies like “Saved” and “Party Monster” and was 100% bangable, ok? Ok. Anyway, for a few years now Macaulay Culkin has looked like a crack addicted drifter/Rickety Cricket from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”, so the world (aka me) was SHOOK to see him stepping out this week looking pretty good.
Culkin was spotted out and about on what seemed like a date with actress Brenda Song who a) is a totally cutie, and b) was previously engaged to Miley Cyrus’ brother, Trace, so even if she was spotted with cracked out looking Macaulay this would still be a step up for her.
Macaulay Culkin’s looks through the years have gone from adorable little kid, to handsome/cute adolescent, to hot 20-something, to crackhead who would blow you for a dollar and half a smoke, so to see him go back to hot is really special for me because I really truly did not believe it would happen! I thought there was a better chance of Lindsay Lohan making a career comeback than Macaulay Culkin getting hot again, but here we are!
Somehow, in the bizarre shit show that is 2017, Lindsay Lohan is filming legitimate projects and Macaulay Culkin looks great and is dating an attractive actress. It’s like I’ve woken up in 2003, but I have significantly better eyebrows.
Also, I just Googled it, and apparently Macaulay Culkin is still worth $15 million. Damn. He’s looking clean and healthy again, he might still be in a pizza related rock band, he’s got that money…when did Macaulay Culkin become the perfect man? 2017, you are one strange sonofabitch full of ups and downs, but I consider this Macaulay Culkin makeover one of your ups!