Reese Witherspoon In ‘Most Rubbish Oscar Speech Ever’ Drama

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March 9th, 2006 at 11:00 by 586 MEDIA

So you missed the Oscars? Who cares? You saw the best bits (The woman from BBC Breakfast looking increasingly desperate outside the Vanity Fair party because nobody would talk to her) and you know who won.

But we need to explore the dark side of the Oscars - the side that won’t shut the hell up. Reese Witherspoon’s side. In years to come, Reese’s acceptance speech after winning the Best Actress Oscar will one day be played to terror suspects in order to break them down. But only as a last resort - even terrorists have a pain threshold.

Try as we might, we’ve watched this video over and over again, but we just don’t have the endurance of strength of mind to make it past the part where Reese Witherspoon babbles about making her bed.

And we tried, too - we literally tied ourselves to our chairs at one point. But our brainstems kicked in and made us beat our heads against the back of the chairs until we fell unconscious. See if you can do any better.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, March 9th, 2006 11:00 am and is filed under Film. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

11 Responses to “Reese Witherspoon In ‘Most Rubbish Oscar Speech Ever’ Drama”

  1. John Says:
    March 9th, 2006 at 12:30 pm

    You are about the dumbest ass I have ever seen. The speech was great.

  2. reese witherspoon Says:
    March 9th, 2006 at 2:54 pm

    Technically you haven’s seen him, John.

  3. beth Says:
    March 9th, 2006 at 4:02 pm

    I thought the speech was amazing! honestly, the only speech I have ever cared to remember.

  4. John Gray Says:
    March 11th, 2006 at 6:41 am

    This was an amazing acceptance speech, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

  5. Jessica Says:
    March 12th, 2006 at 10:31 am

    ”You are about the dumbest ass I have ever seen. The speech was great.”
    That’s right!
    I love this girl, she is sweet, and the speech was fantastic!

  6. unknown Says:
    March 16th, 2006 at 3:40 am

    honestly, your a jack ass! u have no idea wut the fuck your talking about!

  7. ? Says:
    March 22nd, 2006 at 4:56 pm

    HER SPEECH WAS GREAT!!!

  8. John Says:
    March 22nd, 2006 at 6:46 pm

    What’s wrong with the speech? Whoever bitches about it is so cynical they wouldn’t honesty if it smacked them up side the head. Go bitch about something legit sourpuss.

  9. Ladan Says:
    April 21st, 2006 at 1:10 am

    I actually googled to FIND her speech because I was so touched and inspired by it….I agree with all the other commenters…you’re the dumbest ass ever! (heehee)

  10. Angie Says:
    February 6th, 2008 at 9:29 pm

    Actually, all of you are dumbasses. Her speech was awful right up there with the dreadful Gwyneth Paltrow’s! I wish they could all just make it short and sweet, I really don’t want to hear their life story, it’s embarrassing!

  11. Hahaha Says:
    February 6th, 2008 at 11:42 pm

    hahaha all of the celebrity knob-gobblers come out of the woodwork when you make fun of their airhead role models!

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