Terminator Salvation looks set to be one of the most talked-about movies of next year, even if much if the talk looks set to be “Oh lord, this is terrible.”
But because of all the pre-release hype surrounding Terminator Salvation, it’s almost certainly not going to be the last Terminator film. In fact, according to producers, Terminator 5 is now going to be rushed into cinemas by summer 2011.
Apparently to be set in the Middle East, Terminator 5 will revolve around the time when John Connor got a nasty scratch from some robot shrapnel and looked for treatment. It’ll be called Terminator Savlon. Sorry.
Terminator Salvation isn’t being released until the middle of next year, but already the hype onslaught has started. There are rumours that Arnold Schwarzenegger will be a Terminator in it, and that Christian Bale will become a Terminator at the end of it and that if anyone so much as mentions Terminator 3 or that bit from The Sarah Connor Chronicles with the toilet that turned into a Terminator who looked just like the singer from Garbage in it, they’ll be crushed.
Trouble is, though, at the moment Terminator Salvation looks rubbish.
Judging from the Terminator Salvation trailer – which is supposedly a collection of all the best bits from the movie – Christian Bale’s still doing his ridiculous indecipherable Batman growl and there’s a metal Cloverfield monster running about the place going apeshit at everyone. Worse still, we get the feeling that there won’t even be a naked Austrian cyborg from the future demanding that a truck driver lends him his trousers. And, after all, isn’t that what the Terminator movies are about?
But anyway, even if Terminator Salvation turns out to be an embarrassing mess it doesn’t matter – because according to Halcyon Co bigwigs Derek Anderson and Victor Kubicek, Terminator 5 is already in the works. Variety reports:
The duo had originally planned to wait until the release of “Terminator Salvation” next summer before deciding on whether to proceed with the next chapter, but the positive studio, fan and media reaction to footage from the current pic has encouraged them to move forward ahead of schedule. “We feel the time is now to start shaping the next part of this,” Kubicek said.
That makes such good business sense – strike while the iron is hot. Hot and unfinished. Hot and unfinished and possibly a bit crap. There’s literally nothing that could go wrong with this plan whatsoever.
Apart from the fact that, you know, by announcing that there’s going to be a Terminator 5 before Terminator 4 has even been released it’s perfectly clear to everyone that John Connor won’t beat the Terminators for another film or two so it’s not really worth paying to go and see this one. But apart from that, it’s a genius plan.
In fact, it seems a bit pointless calling the new film Terminator Salvation at all, now that we know nothing will be salvaged until at least Terminator 5. Perhaps Halcyon will take this onboard – after all, it’s not too late to switch the word ‘Salvation’ for an equally pointless noun in the title. We were thinking maybe Terminator Pianola or Terminator Bum.
Unless, of course, the hidden twist of Terminator Salvation is that all the invincible killing machines are destroyed by the Salvation Army, who march through the post-apocalyptic wasteland blowing up the robots by playing God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen on the tuba. If that’s the case we take it back. We take it all back.
Jumbo says
Haha you think you’re funny eh. You’re a real dumbass who doesn’t even comprehend the beauty of the T franchise.
“Worse still, we get the feeling that there won
T-1000 says
HA……..I’ll have to agree with Jumbo…….you dumbass…..it seems to me you know absolutely nothing about the terminator franchise…..Idiot
H3 says
mmm, they got the point, you’re a dumbass.
Do you REALLY read VARIETY ?
Are you paid for that ?
dude says
THEY ARE RIGHT U R A DUMASS. THAT MUCH U DON’T NEED SKYNET TO TELL U.
brandon says
im going to get arnold to go apeshit on your ass you lil smart-ass bitch this aint about arnold and the other bitches its about john conner trying to woops some on that machine ass is what its about now drop your ballz watch all 3 movies and when t4 comes out watch it then you think back wow…….i really was a dumbass
It'll be back. says
Well, judging by the fact that you say “we” when referring to the opinions you’ve written in your piss poor assessment, I’d guess that you don’t want to be held soley accountable for being such a moron. Don’t drag your friends into this, please. Take responsibility for being such a dumbass. Terminator is about an idea, one that has a viable story line with remarkable flexibility for altering. It’s about brute force action and above all overcoming an impossible situation against all odds. My guess, by the ‘naked Austrian’ comment is that this is the only part of the Terminator movies that you remember, because you’re a big fag and it turned you on. I guess there has to be an asshole out there for every normal person though, and you’re definately it.
lotfi says
I don’t agree with you, the salvation is not called “Terminator 4” what you are looking for ended at Terminator 3. Terminator Salvation is totaly diffrent and the makers want to make that clear. a nuclear bomb just wiped out people and cities, there is no need to send a robot to the past to kill conor its already the future so there is no need for arnold. jhon does not need to run away anymore he needs to run after them.
I watched salvation today and its brilliant, it was worth
Mikey says
Your reporting is obviously biased. We get it, you don’t like the movie. I love the Terminator series, much the same way Star Trek fans love Star Trek.
As a fan, I still have my favorites and least favorites. I loved the original T movie, and then was disappointed with #2 and #3. Terminator Salvation was my favorite. If I had to criticize #4, it would have been the segment with digitized Arnold. The movie could have done without that part.
You should leave out your personal feelings when reporting. Just my .o2
Rodolfo Severo says
Guys arnold was almost nothing on T4, THEY CAN’T FINISH THE FUCKING MOVIE WITHOUT HIM ARE YOU LISTENING HOLLYWOOD?????? Arnold is everything on terminator without him the movie sucks, I defenely hope T5 is going to be like T3 where arnold still active like old times, it doesn’t matter how he looks, how strong he is, we want him not a stunt…
HaHaH-- FU*K YOU! says
lol who ever wrote this is a c0ck bandit because i think the movie kicked @ss.
sorry about the 0 and @…. i dont want to find out that there isn’t aloud swearing and i have to retype everything…
there better be a terminator 5 and u bet ur @ss ill watch it.
but seriously who ever wrote this dosn’t know much about the terminator story line…. what a piece of sh!t reveiw or what ever this is,…..
Dante says
T4 is a awesum movie u dog it was never about trousers u dumbsmart bitch .
RT/10 says
Oh dear oh dear oh deary me……
Though I like the fanchise, and even enjoyed the cheesy third installment which was slightly less cheesy than the second (a boy and his Terminator FFS).
The author is entitled to have his say, even though I don’t agree with it. You want to stop your Fanboy Saddo comments. You are the people reffered too in ‘Jay and Silent Bob’, go watch it and be embarrassed.
How does the story revolve around John Connor?, he wasn’t even in the first one. A couple of you said that.
“bitch this aint about arnold and the other bitches its about john conner trying to woops some on that machine ass”
You cant even get the name right. Have you even watched the films.
But what’s the point in bringing up flaws in something I enjoy just to show up a bunch of prissy fanboys if none of you have even picked up on the biggest flaw between part one and part two???? ‘nothing dead will go’ ‘surrounded by living tissue’ the T1000 or come to think of it the TX don’t have skin as they are not cyborgs, so how did they go through. Which would have meant Reese could bring through ‘Ray guns?’
Get a grip Clown Shoes!
tinkerbell says
Ok, there’s a rumour that Connor is going back in time, and the movie will be set in the past. AGAIN. NO MORE TIME TRAVEL!!!! Can someone say this isn’t true?