For every good thing in this world there's a bad. For every cop there's a thief, for every Jedi there's an evil Emperor and for every The Queen there's a Nicolas Cage running up a hill dressed as a bear slamming his bear-fist into a woman's face.
Oh, The Razzies, how we love you. Over the last month, in addition to looking at the Oscars betting odds, we've taken the time to look at the movies and people that The Razzies have deemed to be the worst of the year. Worst Actor, Worst Actress, Worst On-Screen Couple, we've looked at them all. And since The Razzies take place tomorrow, we've left the best until last – the Razzies betting odds for the worst movie. And sweet Mary and Joseph are there ever some stinkers here.
So here are the Razzies betting odds for Worst movie – for The Wicker Man, Lady In The Water, Little Man, Bloodrayne and Basic Instinct 2 – with betting odds from Paddy Power…
The Wicker Man – You tend to get an idea that a film remake is bad when the director of the original angrily instructs his lawyers to remove his name from all promotional material for the remake, and that's just what happened with The Wicker Man. In years to come, The Wicker Man will be used as a blueprint for what not to do when you're remaking a classic film. You don't swap a creepy pagan island for a town full of feminists. You don't replace Edward Woodward's righteous fundamental Christian virgin policeman for Nicolas Cage being a bit scared of bees. And you absolutely don't tack on a ridiculous ending starring the angry boy from Spider-Man just for the hell of it. The Wicker Man is so profoundly awful it almost verges on sacrilege but – incredibly – The Razzies say it wasn't the worst film from the last year. Current Razzies Worst Movie betting odds – 6/1
Lady In The Water – There's a huge case for Lady In The Water to be given the Worst Film gong at The Razzies, and that's because most people have forgotten that it even existed. At least Little Man and Basic Instinct 2 were so forehead-slapping awful that people perversely want to check them out just to see how bad they really are, but Lady In The Water? That's the sort of film that isn't so bad it's good, it's so bad it makes people want to kill themselves. And anyway, here's the big M Night Shyamalan twist at the end of Lady In The Water – it's shit and you wasted your money renting the DVD. Current Razzies Worst Movie betting odds – 5/1
Little Man – For everyone who thought that White Chicks was too cerebral and high-brow… here's Little Man. Little Man has picked up so many Razzie nominations you should know all about it now. Basically a short man dresses up as a baby for some reason, then tries to force his penis in his mother's mouth, then has sex with her twice while she's asleep. It'd be hard for even the most accomplished film-making team in the world to make Little Man's premise anything other than massively ill-judged, but the Wayans brothers somehow manage to make it just that little bit worse that you expect, no matter low your expectations of it are. Current Razzies Worst Movie betting odds – 4/1
Bloodrayne – No matter how we look at it, Bloodrayne just couldn't have seemed anything but dreadful at any stage of production. It's based on a rubbish computer game, has a budget that was presumably eaten up by Ben Kingsley leaving nothing for effects, script or direction, contains a sex scene that literally couldn't be less erotic if you were watching your own parents doing it and is directed by Uwe Boll. The world is used to Uwe Boll throwing out awful videogame adaptations all the time now, but Bloodrayne surpasses even Alone In The Dark for blinding shoddiness at every level. And that had Tara Reid in it, for Christ's sake. Current Razzies Worst Movie betting odds – 2/1
Basic Instinct 2 – And now to the daddy. Basic Instinct 2 was supposed to be the film that revived Sharon Stone's career, increased foreign investment in movie-making in London and forced the world to reassess the notion that middle-aged women can't be sexy. And it did none of that whatsoever. At the box office, Basic Instinct 2 didn't even draw the big first-weekend crowd of rubberneckers that it was supposed to, drowning without help like Stan Collymore in a crashed sports car. We're sure that in years to come your children will sneak downstairs to watch Basic Instinct 2 while you're asleep, but anyone who was even the slightest bit curious about Basic Instinct 2 can see 30-second clips Sharon Stone naked on the internet, which sort of renders the other one hour, 59 minutes and 30 seconds sort of redundant. Current Razzies Worst Movie betting odds – 6/4
Next week – God knows. Seriously, we don't know yet. Exciting, huh? Spontaneous, even. But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Razzies betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.