Move over, Jay Z! Step Aside, Drake! Out of the way, Kendrick! Fuck off, Kanye West! There’s a REAL rapper in town, and no, I’m obviously not talking about Tyga! I’m referring to Kevin Federline, the ex-husband and babydaddy of the elegant southern princess known as Britney Spears. (To be fair, Kevin Federline is basically the babydaddy to every bitch who loves flip flops, bedazzled tank tops, and smoking/eating Cheetos at the same time. Dude has like 40 baby mamas).
If you may recall, back when Kev was still married to Princess Brit Brit, he tried to make a rap career happen by releasing the underrated and majestic “Popzao” (or however you spell it), and we were all SHOCKED when it didn’t go quadruple platinum, thus leading to a lucrative rap career. Well, thankfully for us, Kevin hasn’t given up!
This week, Kevin released a VIDEO for his song “Hollywood”. The video stars none other than Hollywood’s used condom, Andy Dick, so you know this thing is LEGIT and classy.
The video also features Kanye West, Amber Rose and Leonardo DiCaprio impersonators and I have no fucking clue why. Just like I have no idea why this is happening to me/the world.
Kevin Federline was doing such an amazing job of staying out of the public eye and not torturing us with his skeezy bullshit, and just, you know, living off of Britney’s alimony money, so I’m not sure why he woke up one day and thought “I think I’ll give rapping another go.”
I assume whatever demon is behind this (probably Kris Jenner) is the same person who whispered in Donald Trump’s ear “Why don’t you just run for president?” Because Kevin Federline’s rap career is absolutely equivalent to Trump…sorry, Drumpf, being president. It’s offensive and terrible for fucking everyone.
Anyway, if you feel like fucking up your Friday night, here is K. Fed’s video. Enjoy!
(The video isn’t on YouTube, but you can check it out on the TMZ site: http://www.tmz.com/2016/04/07/kevin-federline-music-video-hollywood/)