Radiohead are delightfully obtuse aren’t they? Those crazy guys gave an album away for very little money (good thing as it was of very little quality) and Thom Yorke has an eye so low down his skull that he can tickle his Adam’s Apple with his eyelashes.
And now, totally toying with our preconceived notions of what a band should do, maaaaan, they’re releasing a new album called ‘The King Of Limbs’ on February 19th.
That’s this Saturday! They didn’t let us know months in advance! Because they’re like that! That’s just sooooooo Radiohead isn’t it? ISN’T IT? You guys! If they were any more edgy, our heads might actually explode with kaleidoscopic tedium.
Radiohead announced the news on their website, pointing everyone in the direction of www.thekingoflimbs.com, where you’ll be able to order it. If you like eerily static music, sung by a maudlin voice backed by a band still indebted to Boards of Canada LPs.
Apparently, the band are referring to this new release (available as a download from Saturday, released physically on May 9th) as a ‘newspaper album’. That obviously means that ‘The King Of Limbs’ is perfect for holding a portion of greasy chips.
Oh, and track 3 has its tits out.
As ever, we can imagine that songs will be based around Thom Yorke’s insultingly obvious observations about the world, channelling a feeling of disenfranchisement after having watched Falling Down with Michael Douglas for the thousandth time. Filled with a feeling of sticking it to the man, Thom could have written a song in character, as a pre-packaged sandwich from Asda, filled with self-loathing and worry about those caught in the rat-race… a rat-race Thom Yorke hasn’t ever been part of… but he’s seen Falling Down, so that’s okay.
Yorke’s views on mankind are about as relevant as Roger Water’s, a man divorced from the public since the late ’60s, who is also a keen proponent of the whole ‘look what we’ve become’/’life in the machine’ nonsense. Both artists could benefit from something the world-at-large does with alarming frequency – having a good night-out with pals.
Of course, there’s little anyone knows of the new cut, but it’ll be a ‘high brow’ affair no doubt. Even the title is 6th form dense.
It’s named after an oak tree in Wiltshire’s Savernake Forest. The tree is a thousand years old and the phrase appears in the 23rd chapter of the Qu’ran.
We geddit. Trees. Religious text. Trees make paper. Paper makes books. Books have words in them. Words were invented by man. Radiohead are also men. They also use words. Words written on pulped wood. Like a tree. Trees are made of wood. The Qu’ran. Men. Mankind. Bits of wood. Wood with limbs. Like a wooden man. A wooden man with paper brains. A thousand year old man with a Radiohead t-shirt on. Made of the Qu’ran.? Invented by religious trees and given away as a free download. CDs pressed on Johnny Greenwood’s limbs…
[this continued for well over an hour]
Still, Muse will be thrilled at this news as they’ve needed something to crib notes from for their new tracks. So devoid of inspiration is Matt Bellamy is that he’s gone about impregnating a Hollywood actress, possibly in the hope that feeling fertile or the miracle of birth would give him some ideas. Alas, if he’d only waited a couple of months, he could have saved himself the bother of all those shitty nappies and just listened to ‘The King Of Limbs’.
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Anonymous says
Whats your problem dude? Got some beef with radiohead?
Rob says
Well, it is so much easier to criticise than it is to create something yourself.
Everything you’ve said about symbolism in Radiohead songs is from your own imagination. I see no quotes from Thom Yorke here, you’ve just assumed a load of undergraduate nonsense on his behalf.
Also, i fail to see how Radiohead owe that much to Boards of Canada, given that they’ve been around longer. And even if their newer stuff does draw on BoC, have you head of a musical influence?
You don’t make your case for why you don’t like their music at all…this is sixth form polemic, the easiest kind of writing. I should be very surprised if you are a musician.
Rob says
PS I’m clearly right in my guess that you’re not a musician. Anyone who thinks that Muse draw on Radiohead in any meaningful way must be a musical simpleton. Ooh, its got guitars. Ooh, he sings falsetto. They must be the same! Chord sequence you say? What’s that?
MKUltra says
He’s clearly got a beef with Radiohead, but not nearly so much of one as he has with Muse. Certainly some of Muse’s earlier work had some similarities with Radiohead, but to tell me that Black Holes & Revelations or The Resistance sounds anything like Radiohead is to stretch credibility beyond belief.
Kev says
Relax man, youll live longer. No need to slag off the guys physical impairment aswell. Pretty harsh and unprofessional.
me says
what’s up with cranky mccrankerson here? kind of strange to be taking not-so-subtle jabs at a great band. however, i suppose you must be an expert on all things music, i mean, you do have a blog.
Dougal says
Tell me Mof, just how badly were you bullied at school?
AwfulArticle says
Wow, you’re an utter cunt. Well done on being an utterly unprofessional cunt, too.
Tom J says
A new Radiohead album? This would be pretty exciting if it was still the late 90s when they were actually producing decent music. As it stands, all we have to look forward to is another phoned-in mess of tired electronica. If we’re lucky they’ll do the same trick as last time, offering to sell “the full album” at the buyer’s price when in fact they’re selling “a shitty quality preview of the album, encoded at the 1997 standard of 160kbps”. Then they’ll release the real album in shops a week later, completely pissing over all their fans who were dumb enough to buy the shitty quality preview for full price. Why sell an album once when you can sell it TWICE?! Just like Kid A and Amnesiac, the double album that they decided to release as two separate full albums! Why? Because MONEY, idiots!
Let’s face it, Radiohead are the same breed of money-driven sell-outs as the rest of the music industry. The only difference is that somehow they’ve managed to convince the public at large that they’re not. How the hell did they do that?
Cel says
Oh for fuck’s sake – don’t you idiots realise this website is a piss take?
Jesus, talk about a sense of humour failure – and yes, I am a Radiohead fan.
Love heckerspray – hate dickheads who get all high and mighty about nothing.
Dan says
Muse don’t copy Radiohead any more, rather they take everything wrong and cheesy about 70’s rock and channel it into something even worse than their influences.
Alf says
Muse are their own thing now (it’s not a thing I especially like, but it’s certainly unique), and their connection to Radiohead was pretty tangential in the first place. While none of the things you’ve said about Radiohead are remotely true, it’s particularly cruel of you to bring up Thom Yorke’s wonky eye in the first paragraph, as an example of obtuse behaviour(?). Do I really have to point out that you’re not meant to lay into people for things they couldn’t control? Things which meant they had to have operations on their faces as children, for example? I mean, of course you open yourself up to criticism when you’re a public figure like this (him, not you), but if you were any kind of writer you could have got past the first paragraph without mentioning it. Stephen Hawking’s new book has been out for a while, you should review that! You could get some really sparky observations going about how he’s in a wheelchair and can’t talk and dribbles a bit. How does he go to the toilet????? HAHA I BET IT’S WEIRD.
Also, what has Falling Down got to do with anything?? What an inane observation. I often think “I wish Arcade Fire weren’t so transparently influenced by Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole, it’s obstructing my enjoyment of their work”, but I don’t say it to anyone, because it’s what everybody’s thinking anyway. Sure, you could say I don’t “get it”, i’m taking this too seriously…but I’ve given up defending Radiohead in general – they’re a Marmite band, and some people just think they’re depressing, end of. No skin off my nose. But this article is less Charlie Brooker, more Frankie Boyle with a head injury.
halo says
So obviously a Tween Twilight “muse” fan
Black holes and Uprising ARE GARBAGE
Muse’s had two GREAT albums. Absolution and Origin of Symmetry.
That’s it. Only two. And if neither Black Holes or Uprising were featured on the Twishit soundtrack you wouldn’t know who Muse are.
Now that Mr Bellamy has sold out for the sake of money and Twi hard idjits it becomes very had to have respect for Muse.
Simply put, Radiohead will always be a better band for no other reason that 13 year old girls don’t crash websites and hack wiki entries ’cause they idol is having a baby with an actress.
Note to Mof,
I am guessing the Scientology crew go to the Muse fans too. That makes MJ, Muse and Bieber. When will it end? Are they trying to get Xenu back to Earth by publishing shite music?
halo says
Rob
I’m sorry at least 3 songs on Black Holes and over half of Uprising poached liberally from Kid A (harmonies, riffs) and OK Computer. Anyone who can read sheet music can sort it out.
It’s like saying David Grey (whom I love) ripped our Eliot Smith. Well some songs sure….
One could say “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”. However to deny any influence is wrong. An homage is an homage.
Maybe if one gets that chance they ought to ask Mr Bellamy about Radiohead….just an idea.
halo says
Rob
I’m sorry at least 3 songs on Black Holes and over half of Uprising poached liberally from Kid A (harmonies, riffs) and OK Computer. Anyone who can read sheet music can sort it out.
It’s like saying David Grey (whom I love) ripped off** Eliot Smith. Well some songs sure….
One could say “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”. However to deny any influence is wrong. An homage is an homage.
Maybe if one gets that chance they ought to ask Mr Bellamy about Radiohead….just an idea.
halo says
I heartily concur!
Kaleim says
hilarious! i’m a big radiohead fan but your counterpoint – tongue-in-cheek or not – is totally awesome. gonna forward to all my buddies… or at least the ones who can take a joke.
B says
So Radiohead have been active since 1985 and BOC have been known as active since 1986. Still, I’d like to think that Thom and crew were majorly influenced by BOC because of Music has the Right to Children came out 2 years before Kid A.
Cookie Monster says
PPS: I am also clearly a bit of a bunghole who is blissfully unaware that I am criticizing a comedic take on the subjective criticism of… ah, forget it… who am I?
A drummer, clearly.
Cookie Monster says
True, the heavily commercial, large-volume side of the industry is crappity-crap-farts, without even a nasty whiff of good crap to add substance. Contrarily, though, I do enjoy Radiohead, and do so despite their silly money-loving ways. Contrast-ishy, I must admit that I haven’t really listened to much, with anything approaching ‘paying attention’ or ‘paying’, after Kid-A. To sum it all up, I refute or agree with what you say with a limp yes/no/maybe-ish, though I don’t mind Radiohead.
Cookie Monster says
Yes. Literally, “Yes”.
TheNiggler says
you are a terrible person
Alf says
“sense of humour failure”, “take a joke”…you guys sound like Andy Grey and Richard Keys, or those horrible bullies on Top Gear. You can joke about anything you like, but it’d be nice if such jokes were couched in some kind of skill, or self-awareness, or irony, or….something. I mean, the paedophile episode of Brass Eye – good jokes. Dense programme, like a Hob Nob, lot of thought went into it. Stewart Lee, in his first stand-up show after being involved in the final ever blasphemy prosecution in the british courts for his part in Jerry Springer: The Opera, did a routine which included the line “I vomited into the gaping anus of Christ”. This was part of a half-hour bit about censorship which overall delivered a pretty positive message.
Above, is a lazy opinion piece based on a fact and a half, by someone who can’t write as well as they think. THAT’s offensive. If you think this is especially funny, then you’re quite a lucky person – there’s funnier stuff than this everywhere you look! like this – http://www.theonion.com/articles/radiohead-denies-influencing-local-band,2730/
gilbert wham says
HS staff, it must become your raison d’etre to forward the above piece of po-faced cuntery to every ‘skillful, self-aware’ comedian/writer/what-have-you possible (not horrible bullies mind), until such time as one of them, preferably a hero of Alf’s, mocks it roundly in a public forum.
Or just continue taking the piss out of Radiohead, if that’s easier. Wouldn’t want to intrude on your fag-break.
mark says
Ah Hahahahahahaha this article is funny as hell! And I’m a HUGE Radiohead fan! Bigger than all of you! But come on, in an over the top sarcastic way, this article is friggin HILARIOUS!!! Good job man!
alf says
what i’m saying, Gilbert, is that while no subject should be taboo for comedy, if you are going to mock a physical defect you would do well to try and make it worthwhile. Your definition of funny is different from mine, which is why you called me a cunt.
This article isn’t funny
“horrible bullies” is a fair, if slightly twee, description of the Top Gear presenters, and anyone who disagrees with me is a cunt
my “heroes” might find my comment a bit clumsy but would no doubt agree with me that this article is boring and pointless and you are a stupid prick for liking it, not to mention a revolting little creep for defending it. ooooooh have a fag break lads! then we’ll go and watch a cockfight and slam each other’s balls in the fridge and laugh and laugh because anyone who tries to express any kind of nuanced criticism about the unpleasant tone of an article must be an elitist upper-class arsehole.
and i’m sorry if I used too many big words for you.
alf says
oh, and, the headline says “Invariably Turgid”. Seeing as it hadn’t been released yet, and there was no way at the time of knowing whether there would be any variety in how turgid or not this album might be, i think they probably meant “Inevitably Turgid”. But yeah, i’m an idiot, this is great, whatevs.
craptastic says
Though the article seems to be at first glance a “piss-take,” it’s but only another thinly-veiled tired backlash against the band. Every time Radiohead is lauded by the press, it pisses guys like Mof off to no end. I mean, how dare competent, talented musicians receive acclaim from critics and music-lovers worldwide while Mof is forced to take up his days and nights in his parents’ basement, spewing up vitriol on his laptop?
Azbola says
No, he’ right – I just listened to the whole back catalogue and it’s all turgid shit.
Except “The Bends”, which is awesome.