Many moons ago, my cousin, Krystal and I used to get up early every Sunday so we could go see the matinee showing of “Life as a House”, which we had convinced ourselves was the best movie ever, based solely on the fact Hayden Christensen caused our girl parts to weep with sexual tension and agony. You know, back when Hayden Christensen was a major heart throb?
Anyway, if this was a decade ago this news would break my teenage heart, but I’m a grown woman now and don’t care when my celebrity crushes find love (except Ryan Gosling. Fuck you, Eva Mendes). So as the title of this blog states, Hayden is going to have a kid with his almost as irrelevant (but still good looking) girlfriend, Rachel Bilson. Yeah, I know, no one cares.
A little while ago I wrote a blog about celebs who were super hot, but didn’t have much talent, so are kind of fading into oblivion. These two belonged on that last big time, but they’ve become that irrelevant to me that I actually forgot they existed.
Hayden fucked his career in the asshole when he starred as Anakin Skywalker in the “Star Wars” reboot (am I the only “Star Wars” fan out there who didn’t think he was actually as bad as people make him out to be? Sure he was a moody, self-entitled brat, but doesn’t it make sense that young Darth Vader would be a bit of a paranoid, egotistical, whiny cunt?) and Rachel stars on “Hart of Dixie” which is apparently a show people watch?
Sexy Southern doctors in mini skirts and heels? Yeah…ok.
Anyway, sources are saying the baby was totally planned, because Hayden needed something to do with his days, and back in May 2013 Rachel told “Cosmopolitan” that she wanted to get filled up with babies soon:
I definitely have family on the brain. Having kids is something I want to see in my future—I hope.
The two have been together since 2007 when they met on the set of the absolutely terrible movie, “Jumper”.
I really hope Hayden’s kid makes better life choices than he does. He went from having minor roles in gems like “Strike!” and “The Virgin Suicides” to starring in the “Star Wars” reboot, to being in straight to DVD movies with T.I. T-FUCKING-I! Ugh.
I just can’t with you, Hayden. The only way your career is going to make a comeback is if they reboot your sweet early-2000’s teen drama, “Higher Ground”, and they have you come back as the sexy new counselor. You could be the new Joe Lando, and A.J. Cook could take a break from “Criminal Minds” to guest star as your former teenage love, Shelby, and things could start up again and oh man, there would be so much sexy conflict! Yeah, I could get down with that…